Double Trouble
by AmandaArtiste
Summary: A little antilove goes a long way. When Timmy's godparents go away for a conference he's left in the care of their counterparts. AntiCosmo and AntiWanda explain how they met and fell in love. ACAW, other AntiFairies included!
1. The AntiFairy Godparents

**A/N: **Everybody's got their own version of how it (might) have happened. Well, here's mine:)

**Disclaimer: **I do NOT own The Fairly OddParents. That creative genius Butch Hartman does. I do own this story and any characters not seen in the series (ex: my versions of Anti-Wandissimo, Anti-Blonda, Anti-Mama Cosma, Anti-Jorgen, Anti-Binky, etc.).

_**Double Trouble**_

Chapter One: The Anti-Fairy Godparents

"WHAT!"

A blue eyed pre-teen shouted in annoyance upon receiving some rather upsetting news from his fairy godparents. The pink and green haired creatures hovered over the fishbowl on his nightstand exchanging worried glances.

"Cheer up Sport," Cosmo ventured, "we'll only be gone for a few days."

"How can I cheer up?" Timmy crossed his arms and began pouting. "Every time you guys get dragged away to Fairy World for some 'mandatory evaluation' my life becomes even more miserable than it already is!"

"Aw but Timmy this isn't an evaluation." Wanda corrected really pouring on the optimism, "It's the Fairy Godparents Conference and it's only held once every ten years."

Timmy arched an eyebrow, "Is it still mandatory?"

Twisting her wand in a nervous grip Wanda frowned, "Well...yes."

Returning his peeved gaze to the opposite wall the twelve-year-old became even grouchier, "Then this reeks!"

"But the good news is we've found you a pair of temporary godparents so that your life doesn't totally stink while we're away!" Cosmo piped up.

"Temporary godparents?" Timmy didn't like the sound of this. Thinking back to the last time he'd had a temp for a godparent he recalled a certain disgruntled elf who did anything but make his life easier.

"That's right Timothy," a malice laced voice with a British accent echoed throughout the bedroom.

_Anti-Poof!_

Spinning around just as the smoke was dissolving Timmy's eyes bulged out and his jaw came just inches from hitting the ground. "ANTI-COSMO!"

"And don't forget me!" another voice spoke up in a southern drawl.

Timmy spun around again to find that another blue and black clad bad luck being had poofed right next to him. "Anti-Wanda too!"

"Well of course Bucky Pink Hat!" Anti-Wanda exclaimed zipping over to her husband's side and slinging an arm around his shoulders, "Me and Anti-Cozzie here is a package deal!"

"So it would seem precious," Anti-Cosmo sighed trying to suppress the slight grin that was tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"Um, ya see Timmy, the temping service didn't work out so well last time so-" Wanda tried to explain only to have Cosmo cut in.

"-so we went with two hardened criminals instead!"

Timmy gulped as his left eye started twitching.

Seeing this Wanda used her wand to fasten a metal plate over his mouth. "What Cosmo means is we volunteered you to be the first godkid to try out Fairy World's new Prisoner Reform Program."

"What's that?" Timmy questioned, keeping a wary eye on the anti-fairies.

"Oh come now child," Anti-Cosmo rolled his eyes, "it's not THAT hard to figure out. Well...maybe for a simpleton like you it is."

Wanda glared at her husband's snobbish counterpart warning him to knock it off with the insults.

"Anyway," he continued, "Anti-Wanda and I are out on parole so long as we agree to participate in this farce of a rehabilitation program."

"We gotta be on our best behavior and makes sure that you stay outta trouble or else ol' Jorgen von Strangle's gonna stick us both in solitary confinement for the next fifty years!" Anti-Wanda added.

"Indeed," her partner nodded, before redirecting his attention to their counterparts, "so off with you already. I believe there's a conference you're required to attend."

"Well..." Wanda was starting to have second thoughts, "...I don't know..."

"Aw he'll be fine!" Anti-Wanda assured them grabbing Timmy in a headlock and rubbing her fist playfully (albeit a bit painfully) in his hair. "We'll take good care of him and makes sure all his little wishes come true."

"Besides," Anti-Cosmo held up his wrists to reveal two metal devices that resembled handcuffs only without the chain linking them together, "Jorgen 'equipped' us with these magical restraints that alert him if we step the least out of line."

"Now that's handy," Wanda appeared to be impressed yet still reluctant to leave. Anti-Wanda may not be much of a threat but Anti-Cosmo was a cunning evil genius!

"And stylish too!" Anti-Wanda exclaimed as she modeled her high tech accessories, "This pretty jewelry even sends out big electric jolts whens we tries to be bad! I sure hope they let us keep this stuff when this is over. It'll go great with my slimming orange jumpsuit!"

Timmy's fairy godfather was started to get edgy being stuck in the same room as his smarter, more refined counterpart. _Gasp! What if he's a nickel thief too?_

"Okay then, bye!" Cosmo grabbed Wanda's hand before she could protest and poofed himself and his reluctant wife away to Fairy World.

This left Timmy alone to deal with his two new temporary godparents—or to be more precise—**_anti_**-fairy godparents.

_Oh man..._ the twelve-year-old panicked as his two blue tinted magical guardians stared him down in a very intimidating manner. It was a lot like the time he'd found himself cornered by those vicious junkyard dogs while wearing that stupid kitty slumber suit.

"So then kid," Anti-Wanda finally spoke, "what'cha wanna do first?"

"Yes Timothy," Anti-Cosmo grinned deviously, "pick your poison."

"Um, actually I thought I'd just run off screaming like a little girl right about now," Timmy moved to dart away but was held back when Anti-Cosmo caught him by the collar.

"I'm afraid that won't do child," he informed him, "you see part of the program requires that we spend some 'quality time' with you and grant wishes. And that means-" Anti-Cosmo's voice changed to a more threatening tone as he stared Timmy down with a fang revealing scowl, "**no** running away."

Swallowing the lump that had formed in throat Timmy nervously nodded and breathed a sigh of relief when Anti-Cosmo loosened his grip and floated a few feet away.

Anti-Wanda (who hadn't really been paying much attention and had poofed herself up a sandwich to eat—with her feet) took another bite of her snack and tried again, "So then Short Stuff, what do ya'll wanna do first?"

Regaining a bit of his composure Timmy straightened up and glared back at his temporary godparents, "First off, let's start by getting my name right. It's not _Short Stuff_, it's not _Bucky Pink Hat_, and only my grandparents (and sometimes the substitute teacher) call me _Timothy_! It's **Timmy**, got it?"

The anti-fairies looked at each other with bored expressions before facing the annoyed pre-teen again.

"Fine," Anti-Cosmo responded tirelessly, "anything else _Timmy_?"

Tapping his chin for a moment his face brightened as he thought of something to add, "Yeah! Since you guys have to pass this rehabitation program-"

"-that's** rehabilitation**, you dope." Anti-Cosmo corrected, muttering the last part.

"Whatever, the point is you two need to keep me happy or else you get stuck back in the Fairy World Maximum Security Prison. And you know how hard that place is to break out of."

Folding his arms Anti-Cosmo retorted snootily, "Well perhaps if you're a band of hapless morons, or a slow-witted twit-" he paused a moment to cast a glare in his wife's direction, "-but for me it was a simple matter of jotting down a brilliant escape plan."

"And for me it was a matter of learnin' to keep my bad toothed mouth shut!" Anti-Wanda chimed in.

"Well good luck getting out again without any help!" Timmy snapped pointing a finger at the condescending fairy, "Because unless you do a good job as my temporary fairy—ur—anti-fairy godparents those restraints will go off and Jorgen will haul your butts straight back there!"

Narrowing his eyes Anti-Cosmo studied the uppity boy. _It appears young Turner isn't as stupid as he looks. If my plan is to succeed I'll have to gain his trust and wait for the precise moment when his guard is down to make my move..._

Anti-Wanda finished off the last of her sandwich before spotting the fishbowl. "Do we gots to sleep in there?"

"Yep," Timmy placed his hands on his hips and glanced at the nightstand, "Cosmo and Wanda probably have a room all fixed up for you inside their castle. And you'll have to poof into goldfish anytime my parents, babysitter, or friends are around."

"All these dang rules are givin' me a headache." Anti-Wanda groaned rubbing her aching head.

"Enough with the formalities Timo-Timmy," Anti-Cosmo broke in, "either start the bonding or our bonds will go off and alert that muscle-bound brute."

"How the heck are we supposed to bond?" Timmy demanded, "We can barely tolerate each other!"

"That never stopped us, did it hon?" Anti-Wanda beamed floating over to Anti-Cosmo and snuggling against his shoulder.

This time a surprisingly soft smile spread over the evil genius's face as he returned his dimwitted wife's loving gaze.

"Wait," Timmy had to know, "just how did you two wind up together anyway?"

"You might call it destiny," Anti-Cosmo mused, "You see all anti-fairies are counterparts of fairies. That means we have certain preferences, those tend to lead to the same results only...opposite of each other."

"Huh?"

Rolling his eyes Anti-Cosmo removed his monocle and began polishing it as he tried again, "Let me put this in terms that even my darling Anti-Wanda could understand. If a fairy like Cosmo finds a fairy like Wanda appealing then an anti-fairy like me would find that same fairy's counterpart (that's you Anti-Wanda) to be equally as appealing. Thus, we are complete opposites yet one in the same."

Timmy scratched his head for a moment as his brain tried to absorb this confusing piece of information. "So...even though Anti-Wanda's an idiot like Cosmo you'd still rather be with her than someone smart like Wanda?"

"Exactly!" Anti-Cosmo poofed up a graduation cap and diploma, "He can be taught!"

"Well I don't get it and I **am** an anti-fairy!" Anti-Wanda exclaimed, her head was really pounding now.

"Aw sweetums," her husband grinned, "don't you recall that magical moment when we first met?"

"Sure do!" the pink eyed anti-fairy instantly perked up, "It was way back when we both started our first year at Anti-Carl Poofy Pants High!"

"Precisely, that's when I first laid eyes on your lovely swirly hair." Anti-Cosmo seemed lost in a dreamy daze.

Anti-Wanda joined him as memories of their old high school days returned, "And when I met the smartest anti-fairy in the whole dang universe."

"And when I beheld my future bride in all her crooked toothed glory."

"And when I learned that eating paste can really mess up your-"

"Enough already!" Timmy was thoroughly grossed out from the sudden onslaught of mushiness. "Geez you guys are worse than my parents when they pull out the photo albums."

"Well pardon us for being in love." Anti-Cosmo replied haughtily.

"Yeah, it's not like you were thinkin' up anything interestin' to do." Anti-Wanda huffed.

"Look, I really don't care if you two wanna take a trip down memory lane but do you **_have_** to be so mushy about it?"

The green eyed anti-fairy was suddenly struck with a brilliant idea. "Perhaps not Timmy, if Anti-Wanda and I tell you a bit about our pasts that should be more than enough to meet the 'bonding' requirement of the Prisoner Reform Program."

"Plus it's real quality time!" Anti-Wanda tossed in helpfully.

"Fine," Timmy conceded, "but it'll have to wait until after school. The bus is gonna be here any minute and I've still gotta get some breakfast."

"Very well then," his temporary godfather agreed, "we shall await your return here...in the fishbowl." He spoke the last word with clear disgust.

"Deal." Timmy was already halfway out the door when the anti-fairies reluctantly disguised themselves as goldfish and dropped down into the fishbowl.

"Yuck," Anti-Cosmo winced, "when's the last time he bothered to clean this bowl?"

"Woooweee!" Anti-Wanda cheered as she swam round in circles elatedly, "I'm a swimming in my own toilet and I likes it!"

* * *

_Amanda/Artiste:_ And there ya have the first chapter of my 'how Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda met and fell in love' fic. Next Chapter: It's flashback time as Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda relate their first meeting to a less than eager Timmy Turner. Will his short attention span hold out or will his temporary godparents find themselves locked away in solitary confinement? Now if you'll excuse me I have to hit the hay before the Sand Man passes me by. Oh yeah, review please! No flames.

Sand Man: It's Sandman, and you're up awfully late little lady.

Me: _:yawns:_ Yeah, but ya know what they say. "Gotta strike while the inspiration's hot!" Or...ya know, something like that.

Sand Man: All the same, no sleep equals no beauty and plenty of crankiness in the morning.

Me: _:eyelids start drooping:_ Must...reach...bed. Pillow...so...soft.

Sand Man: I mean, what would the world be like without sleep? I'll tell you what it'd be like. It'd be chaos! People rioting in the streets! Insomnia would rule and everybody'd be snippy all day long. And night—heh—don't even get me started on what the night would be like then!

Me: Zzzz...

Sand Man: Hello? What, am I talking to myself here?


	2. Carl Poofy Pants AntiFairy High

**A/N: **Thanks for the reviews. There are a lot of flashbacks in this chapter. In fact, most of this story is going to be one big flashback. I promise to try and keep it as entertaining as possible though...while doing my best to keep everyone in character.

Remy: Well at least I got a mention in this fiction.

Blonda: Who cares? I didn't even get cast as a lousy extra!

Remy: What about your anti-fairy counterpart? Won't she be in this story?

Blonda: And just what does that have to do with me? I'm the original; I should be starring in this farce of a story!

Me: _:glares threateningly:_ Farce?

Blonda: Eheh, did I say 'farce'? I meant—um—course! Of course! My car is double parked. Ahahaha...gotta go! Let's do lunch sometime. Have your people call my people. Ta-ta!

_Poof!_

_Getaway!_

Remy: _:smirks:_ Who says only the wealthy can be intimidating?

Me: Darn right, respect the power of the vengeful author! Mwuhahahaha!

Remy: Okay...now you're scaring me. And what's with the flashlight?

_**Double Trouble**_

Chapter Two: Carl Poofy Pants Anti-Fairy High

It was around 3:15 that afternoon when a moping middle-schooler came stomping into his upstairs bedroom. His clothes were all tattered and torn, his face smudged with dirt (along with a few cuts and bruises), and his hair was a real mess with a twig jutting out from under his pink hat.

"My life stinks!" he yelled flailing his fists in the air.

Inside the fishbowl his temporary godparents quickly flew upwards and changed back into anti-fairies.

"Hold you tongue child!" Anti-Cosmo hissed.

"Yeah!" his wife glanced about nervously, "If that tough punk Jorgen hears ya we'll be hauled off back to that jailhouse!"

"Well you'd shout too if you'd had the miserable day I've had!" Timmy pointed an accusing finger to the floating duo.

"Oh please," Anti-Cosmo scoffed, "don't be so melodramatic Timmy. I'm sure you're just overreacting. Your day couldn't have gone that bad."

"**_Oh_****_yeah?_**"

Slinging his book bag across the room Timmy prepared to _regale_ his temporary godparents with the 'fascinating' story of his 'not-so-miserable' day.

* * *

_...Flashback (Timmy's POV)..._

"_First there was my trip to school..."_

"Hi Timmy!" a geeky kid with a boil so huge it took up half his face waved to Timmy as he stepped up into the bus. "Wanna sit next to me?"

"Um, no thanks Elmer." Timmy slowly started backing away. Not to be mean but Elmer's boil was just creepy. Something that big probably had a mind of its own. That would explain why it kept wobbling like that when Elmer hadn't budged.

Timmy was surprised to find that his usual seat on the bus (which was large enough to accommodate three people) was filled!

"Sanjay!" Timmy couldn't believe that his foreign exchange student back-up friend had stolen his seat like that!

"Hello Timmy!" Sanjay beamed from behind his thick rimmed glasses.

Leaning forward A.J. waved to his pal, "Hey Timmy, Sanjay and I are assigned project buddies for the social studies project on multiculturalism. So he's gonna be sitting with me while we take some notes to use in our research paper."

"Isn't that great?" Sanjay was obviously happy to move up closer in the circle of friends.

"No, it's not great!" Timmy fumed, "Where am I supposed to sit?"

"Hm," A.J. scanned the rows of seats and shrugged, "it looks like the only available seat (not reserved for the popular kids) is over there next to Elmer."

Timmy glanced over to Elmer who patted the seat invitingly wearing the world's dorkiest grin.

The grouchy bus driver turned back and shouted, "Hey kid! Sit down already will ya? I've got a schedule to keep here!"

Cringing Timmy reluctantly sat down beside the 'Boil Kid' as the bus started moving. The first pothole they hit jolted everyone inside and poor Timmy wound up with a blemish in the eye.

"_So that explains why your eye's all swollen up like that." Anti-Wanda observed._

"_Yeah and it gets worse!" Timmy snapped._

"Alright class now it's time to find your project partner and continue gathering notes for your research paper on multiculturalism. Which is due **NeXt MoNdAy**!"

Sighing Timmy slumped forward in his seat and let his head hit the desk as Elmer scooted over with an enormous stack of reference materials.

"Boy Timmy," he exclaimed enthusiastically, "this is so great! Being partners and all, we're gonna have tons of fun learning all about the different cultures that make up our country's rapidly growing diverse population!"

"Ugh..." Timmy groaned, "...too much...information. Brain...on fire."

"**TURNER!**"

The raspy cry startled Timmy causing him to bolt upright in his chair. "WHAT? WHO? WHERE?"

Clearing his throat the dark haired teacher lowered his tone in an effort to sound more professional (and authoritative). "I know this may seem unfair to you. Having the same teacher for almost three years in a row since the new middle school was built offering new jobs and promotions for the staff of Dimmsdale Elementary. And I know that it probably came as a big surprise when I was one of the teachers to transfer here (along with Mr. Berkinbake, Principle Waxelplax, and that janitor who always complains) but do try to buck up. After all," he leaned forward with a menacing grin, "we'll have the rest of your junior high career to **crack down** on your learning skills."

Reluctantly Timmy reached into his book bag and pulled out a pencil and some paper. "Okay okay, c'mon Elmer, let's get started."

"Excellent," Mr. Crocker turned away and started walking back to the dry erase board muttering to himself under his breath, "And when your brain in numb from heaps of useless knowledge I'll interrogate you once again on your deepest, most personal secrets and finally prove to the world that you have **_FaIrY GoDpArEnTs_**!"

Most of the students didn't react but those who had never had him before looked completely freaked out by his series of painful looking spasms. Denzel Crocker merely returned to his desk and started grading papers (stamping Fs on most) and plotting new ways to prove the existence of fairy godparents.

"_Timmy, while both of these events do seem unfortunate they hardly account for your disheveled and battered appearance." Anti-Cosmo pointed out._

"_Hang on would ya?" Timmy grumbled, "I'm getting to that. Next came lunch..."_

"YO TIMMY!" the alien prince in the dreamy guy human disguise flagged down his pal.

He usually ate lunch with the others at their 'clique' designated table on the far side of the lunchroom.

Sanjay and Elmer were already chowing down. Chester and A.J. were emerging from the lunch line with their trays full of 'nutritious' food.

"Man," A.J. moaned, "I hate Tuesdays."

"What's wrong with Tuesdays?" Chester asked, "Tuesday is Tuna and Bean Casserole Surprise Day! It's the greatest!"

A.J. and Timmy fought back a wave of nausea as Chester began inhaling his food—face first—right off the tray.

"Gross!" A.J. gagged, "If you're actually gonna eat that slop at least use a spoon or something!"

The trio made their way over to the table and took their seats. Timmy was just glad that he was able to sit between Mark and Chester instead of getting stuck with Elmer again.

Using his oversized chompers to bite a large chunk out of his apple he nearly choked to death when a shrill voice suddenly sang out behind him. "Hi Timmy!"

_TOOTIE!_ Timmy's mind screamed in panic.

Spinning around he nearly smacked right into the brace-faced girl with the ebony pigtails. His biggest fan/stalker. Hn, while you may be able to pick your friends you apparently can't pick your fan club.

"What'cha doin'?" Tootie couldn't help but get all weak-kneed around the startled pre-teen. _Ahh...he's so dreamy! Especially since he started letting his hair grow out. And that new shirt. What a hunk!_

Seeing the gooey expression on her face Timmy knew he didn't have long until things got mushy. "I'm—uh—kinda busy right now Tootie."

He glanced around frantically before his gaze fell on the opposite side of the table, "Elmer and I are heading off to the library to finish up our research!"

"We are?" Elmer seemed baffled then elated, "Cool!"

_Quiet you fool! _The boil had started wobbling again. _If he keeps this up he'll learn our secret!_

"Oh," Tootie seemed disheartened but only for a minute, "well that's okay. Veronica and I are starting on our rough draft soon anyway. Good luck Timmy!" she started walking off towards—off all places—the popular table! "See you next period for pre-algebra!"

"Phew," Timmy slumped down on the bench, "that was a close one."

_Ack, pre-algebra. _His fleeting moment of relief ended just as soon as it had begun. _Another class that Crocker teaches. It's like he's determined to hound me all the way through high school! Better plan on attending an out of state college._

Standing up he followed Elmer over to the trashcans to toss in the remnants of their barely touched meals. Out of the corner of his eye he spotted Crocker hunched over the Fairy Tracker as he skulked down the hall. _Sigh, maybe I'll just join the marines?_

A whole hoard of anti-fairies must have been tailing him around school that day because at that precise moment he stepped right in a pile of what could barely pass for mashed potatoes.

"AAAHH!" he screamed as he fell backwards colliding with the unfortunate person standing behind him, which just happened to be...

"TRIXIE TANG!" he yelped when he noticed the familiar pair of white boots the person beneath him was wearing.

"TIMMY!" she shrieked, her tray of leftover food (the gourmet meal of sirloin stake and baked potato) lay on the ground with its contents splattered everywhere. "You've ruined my new sweater! And just look at my hair!"

"Trixie—I—I'm sorry—I-"

"Cuddly minx!" a snobbish voice exclaimed.

Trixie cast a pouty look to her rich, high class boyfriend. "Oh Remy poo!" she whined as he helped her to her feet. With a snap of his fingers a butler arrived to dust her off.

"How dare you!" Remy snapped at Timmy who was left to pick himself up off the floor.

"Hey, it was an accident! I-"

"Save it Turner!" Remy replied snippily as he led his girlfriend (Timmy's longtime crush) away in a very gentleman-like manner, "No one cares what excuses a middle class klutz like you can contrive."

Seething Timmy put a hand to his mouth and shouted, "That's UPPER middle class!"

_Anti-Cosmo couldn't (or more like wouldn't) suppress a laugh. "So that's where all the food stains and possibly a bruise or two came from! You were publicly humiliated you dupe!"_

"_That's not the half of it!" Timmy exclaimed furiously, "For the real topper you have to hear what happened AFTER school."_

The final bell rang and at last Timmy was free to go home. Since he didn't have a late bell to beat he could walk instead of hustling out to the bus. Which was sometimes more of a curse than a blessing...

"Hey Turner," came a malicious chuckle, "heard you were having a bad day. So I came to make it worse."

Timmy slouched in place when he heard that voice. It was the voice of doom. From the shadows by the dumpster a gray figure emerged. It could only be one guy...Francis the bully.

"Aw great." Timmy was almost too tired to care...almost.

Using what must have been his last reserve of energy he bolted off down the sidewalk in a desperate sprint for his house. Unfortunately for him years of bullying had made Francis rather spry and the malicious thug had little trouble catching up.

"You're gonna get it now Turner," Francis smirked as he tackled the panting pre-teen and yanked him up by his shirt collar until he was eye level. "At first I was just gonna rough ya up a little bit but now-" Timmy gulped as his enemy's ruthless smirk grew wider, "-I'm gonna pound the yellow right out of ya."

The last thing Timmy saw before he clenched his eyes shut was a huge gray fist.

_...End of Flashback (Return to Normal POV)..._

_

* * *

_

"Well," Anti-Wanda remarked as she studied his pulverized body, "he sure made good on his threat. You're all black and blue now—maybe a little bit purple—but I don't see no yella anywhere."

"Thanks a lot." Timmy scoffed.

"Oh fine then," Anti-Cosmo folded his arms in consent, "we'll tag along with you tomorrow so you don't get thrashed the minute you walk out the door. Happy?"

"Hardly."

"Well too bad," Anti-Cosmo returned to his own agenda, "because we've got some bonding to do and your job is to sit down and be quiet while Anti-Wanda and I explain how we first met!"

"Oh you start it off sug and I'll slap some bandages on all these scrapes and bruises!" Anti-Wanda offered.

_Anti-Poof!_

_First Aid!_

"Good idea." Anti-Cosmo nodded. Clearing his throat he set the scene, "It was a typically ghastly day in Anti-Fairy World when the new school year began and I embarked upon my first day as a freshman at Carl Poofy Pants Anti-Fairy High. Up until then I had been home schooled, mostly self taught. You see I've always been a bit of an over achiever and though knowledge was something I excelled at gaining I was eager to experience life amongst the simple non-geniuses. What better way than to immerse myself in the droll experience of public school? I was soon to find that the reception by my peers was to be a tad _different_ than I'd previously anticipated..."

* * *

_...Flashback (Anti-Cosmo POV)..._

The bell rang as I emerged from the office with my schedule for the first semester. It was filled with the usual boring subjects: geometry, biology, world history and the like. You see like humans most magical creatures attend school to become aware of the basic knowledge one needs to survive in an ever changing, constantly progressing world. It was just a shame that my gifted mind would be forced to endure more of an already mastered series of subjects.

On my way to class I happened across a rather amusing scene. Two brutes were accosting another student at his locker. I was later to learn that the two 'gentlemen' went by the names of Anti-Luther and Anti-Binky. The build on the first one was nothing to quiver about but the sheer brutality displayed by the second gave me reason to raise my guard. This Anti-Binky seemed to be the more fearsome of the two.

Once the target of their aggression had been tightly crammed into his locker they turned, took a moment to admire their handiwork, slammed the door, and then floated off laughing most cruelly.

I dare say that if I had a shred of sympathy it would've gone out to the lowly reject. But seeing as how I don't, I was content to float right on by.

Or that is...I would have left the scene as it was had it not been for a tall oafish fairy who couldn't have hoped to intimidate a toddler with his soft spoken voice and wimpy demeanor.

He gently opened the door (after tugging a few times) and helped the battered student out into the hall.

"My goodness Anti-Wandissimo," he spoke in obvious concern, "are you alright?"

Something about his accent reminded me of a Swiss organ grinder. All he needed was a feathered cap and a monkey and he would've been all set.

"Sí, gracias Professor von Strangle."

_A professor? _Oh it was to laugh! No wonder the scoundrels ran ramped in this school. With authorities figures like him it was amazing that the walls weren't completely covered in graffiti by now! Not that they weren't well on their way to being so. I mean really, the place was a dump!

"Please," the taller anti-fairy put up his hands in a gesture of modesty, "call me Anti-Jorgen. There is no need for such formalities. I like to consider myself one of the students, a friend!"

At this point I feared I might wretch. Teachers longing to befriend their students? Now there was a concept fit for Saturday morning cartoon shows!

"Ah, I see we have another new student lost in the halls today."

_Oh great_, I moaned, _he's noticed me._

"And how are you this morning?" the professor persisted.

I'm sure the expression on my face was quite sour because the two idiots immediately went about their separate ways allowing me to pass.

With a quick glance down at my schedule I was disgusted to discover that my first class would be gym. Ooo...how I **HATED** physical exercise. It did absolutely nothing to stimulate the brain. The greatest challenge would be dodging my sweat covered peers who'd be making half-hearted attempts at showering in the boys' locker room.

And sure enough the moment I sat foot inside I was aghast at all the smelly, grungy, and utterly uncivilized oafs who cluttered the tile covered maze of lockers and benches.

One particular oaf decided to make himself of a particular annoyance to me...

"Señor!" a hearty slap on the back sent my monocle flying off my face. I was grateful for the cord that prevented it from shattering on the floor. _Perhaps the cord may serve yet another purpose for this amiable nuisance?_

Spinning around with fangs (and braces) bared I came face-to-face with the same dolt from before. "Well if it isn't the locker inspector." I remarked scathingly. Best to be harsh with my comments now so as to deter fools like him from 'buddying-up' to me.

To my dismay the foreign wimp merely chuckled warmly, "Ah yes, you've no doubt witnessed my encounter with Anti-Binky and his lackey then? Never to fear, for next time it shall be I who has the last laugh!"

I cocked an eyebrow, clearly this moron was a glutton for punishment. Well that should ensure that he'd be out of my way by no later than mid November.

"My name is Anti-Wandissimo," he extended a hand for me to shake. Hn, not likely, his was not an acquaintance I cared to make.

After noting my refusal to shake hands he shrugged and continued with his mindless drabble, "This way amigo, I will show you to your locker. You're in luck, it is right next to mine. I suppose that makes us, how do you say...'locker buddies'?"

His eager expression was enough to make me sick. Such a well meaning, oblivious, cheerful dolt. I hated him already.

"Yes I suppose our lockers are adjacent to one another, if that's what you mean." I commented absently. Upon opening my locker I found a pair of navy gym shorts and a black sleeveless t-shirt. _Ugh, crudely maintained and fashion deprived. This school is a nightmare._

"Come amigo," Anti-Wandissimo gestured for me to follow him out the double doors, "the coach has ordered everyone out onto the track field."

How I despised that word 'amigo'. Why did this dolt insist on behaving as if we were old chums? Reluctantly I shut my locker door, finished lacing my running shoes, and followed him outside.

* * *

_...End of Flashback (Normal POV)..._

Timmy lay sprawled across his bed fighting off drossiness. Anti-Cosmo's lame story was enough to put any kid to sleep. He'd actually found himself wishing that Cosmo's evil counterpart would devise some sinister plot that would distract him from reminiscing and preoccupy his all too advanced brain with scheming.

"Am I boring you child?" Anti-Cosmo demanded angrily.

"Yes!" Timmy snapped, "That story stinks and all those big words are giving me a headache! I feel like I'm stuck back in English class again!"

"Well forgive me for having a richly developed vocabulary," Anti-Cosmo replied sarcastically and crossed his arms.

"Aw but you was just gettin' to the best part!" Anti-Wanda whined.

"Heh, it's not like he could've gotten any worse." Timmy muttered.

Anti-Cosmo glared, "Fine! I've had enough of your insolence for one day. Anti-Wanda do be a dear and continue with the story. Perhaps your 'unique' style of narration will better suit young Turner's 'special' needs."

"Okie dokie," Anti-Wanda agreed, "but I should probably warn ya, I's gots me a third grade readin' level so stop me if I goes over yer head."

Snickering Timmy promised to do so.

"Ya see I had my gym class in the same period as Anti-Cosmo. So's I was out there runnin' laps with the other girls when I spotted him and the rest of the boys comin' out onto the field..."

* * *

_...Flashback Continued (Anti-Wanda's POV)..._

They was all lined up in the center when me and Anti-Plumey came round on our second lap.

"Alright now listen up," that coach fella hollered, "here at Carl Poofy Pants Anti-Fairy High we take great pride in our athletes. Physical education is a highly encouraged elective course. It builds character, bulks you up, and teaches discipline to young nasal strips like you!"

I noticed Anti-Cosmo standing over at the end of the line a rollin' his eyes and tunin' out the coach's rant.

"Psst, amigo?"

And then I seen him turn around and glare mighty wicked like at the foreign kid standin' beside him.

"This lecture stuff bores you, no?" Anti-Wandissimo smiled, "You are like me then. A man of action! No time for talk, it is all swordplay and villainy."

"And what would _you_ know about villainy?" Anti-Cosmo questioned suspiciously.

"More than you'd think señor," Anti-Wandissimo winked, "But shh! The coach is coming, we shall talk more later."

I'm not sure what that young feller was goin' on about but it sure seemed to get on Anti-Cozzie's nerves. And I should know, I've done it tons of times myself!

"So Anti-Wanda," my pal Anti-Plumey elbowed me in the side and motioned over towards the boys who was all down a doin' push-ups, "anyone catch your eye?"

"No sir, my daddy told me to keep ahold of my stuff during the first week of school." she must've thought I was crazy or somethin', tossin' my own eye around! I ain't no dern You-Doo Doll! "He said high school bullies can be awful mean towards us freshmen."

I didn't see a fly but one must've landed on her nose cause she went and smacked herself square in the face! "NO! I mean do you think any of those boys over there are cute?"

"Do I **_what_**?" That was a surprise. I thought I was here for learnin' not courtin'. But I went ahead and took a good look at 'em anyway.

_Not too shabby, that one on the end looks mighty sharp. _I found myself thinking, which was really unusual for me. _And that scrawny one next to him ain't too bad neither._

I told Anti-Plumey and she went and called over two more of the girls. Anti-Goldie and Anti-Puff came a zippin' right over.

"Girls you won't believe it. It's the first day of school and Anti-Wanda's already crushing on TWO guys!" and purty soon they was all gigglin' like a bunch of—well—like a bunch of giddy farm girls!

"So who are they?" Anti-Goldie asked.

"Over there," Anti-Plumey was all too happy to point 'em out to her.

"Them?" Anti-Puff seemed to disapprove. "I don't know Anti-Wanda; they look an awful lot like geeks to me."

Anti-Goldie flew off and chatted with another group of girls while we waited for the equipment and stuff to get drug out onto the field. She wasn't gone no time when she came zippin' back yammering on about all the 'dirt' she'd just dug up on 'em.

"Anti-Wandissimo?" Anti-Plumey repeated.

"Yeah, word is he's a foreign exchange student. They only expect him to stay for the year before he transfers back to the other district." Anti-Goldie smiled all smuggish-like.

"I bet he has a dreamy accent," Anti-Plumey started to drift off into one of her daydreams.

"Maybe," Anti-Goldie shrugged, "but he's built like a twig. Too bad the foreign guy had to go and be a wimp."

"Now that ain't nice Goldie," I scolded her. It just wasn't right to be pickin' on someone for not bein' buff. I never could quite understand why girls liked that so much. "Maybe where he comes from muscles is a bad thing?"

"Well what about that other guy?" Anti-Puff reminded her.

"Oh him," Anti-Goldie waved her off, "nobody knows that much about him except that his name is Anti-Cosmo and he's been home schooled most his life."

"Ya mean he's learnin' to build homes?" I asked, gettin' all confused again.

"No I mean he's been hiding in his mommy's house cause he's too scared to come to school and face his braver, more socially inclined peers." Anti-Goldie answered primpin' her bouncy faded blue curls.

"Well then I'd better go over and say 'hey'." I figured it was the least I could do to help him overcome his social fears...whatever those were.

"Hn, you'd better hurry," Anti-Goldie huffed, "Cause here comes Ms. Sledge with our gym equipment."

"I'll come with you!" Anti-Plumey volunteered, she always did stick to me like mayonnaise to wheat bread.

"Me too!" Anti-Puff chirped, Anti-Goldie had already flown off again to gossip some more. I swear her lips flapped more than a trout on dry land!

So we all three went over to the boys when their coach told 'em to 'take five'. I was the first one to say something; I guess the other girls were shy. They clammed up tighter than a stool pigeon in the crosshairs!

"Well hey there!"

Anti-Cosmo was a sittin' on the bottom bleacher retying his shoe while Anti-Wandissimo lay back relaxing.

"Well hello ladies." the foreign boy was the first one to talk, "I am Anti-Wandissimo my lovelies, and who—may I ask—are you?"

The girls exchanged uneasy glances behind me. I could tell that they really wasn't all that impressed by his flirtin'. To be honest, neither was I.

"I'm Anti-Wanda and this here is my pal Anti-Plumey. And that one tryin' to slip away is Anti-Puff." Boy howdy did she ever look like a weasel caught in the hen house!

"Hi there," Anti-Puff waved shyly.

"Nice meeting you," Anti-Plumey added.

"A pleasure ladies," Anti-Wandissimo noticed his pal wasn't paying us no attention so he grabbed him by the shoulder and gave him a little shake, "this is my friend Anti-Cosmo."

"_Friend_?" Anti-Cosmo glared over at him threatening-like before looking over at us.

At first he was still bent on giving us the same expression but when he locked eyes with me those green eyes got all bulgy and I'm purty sure we both felt a jolt of some kind.

Of course you wouldn't have known it to hear him talk...

"I take it you're the 'brains' of the outfit." Now even **_I_** could tell that was meant to be insultin'.

Apparently his friend could too. Cause right away he smacked him upside the arm and turned back to us to apologize. "You must forgive my friend ladies. His manners are somewhat non-existent."

Anti-Plumey and Anti-Puff just huffed and turned to leave.

"C'mon Anti-Wanda," the last one called over her shoulder, "Ms. Sledge is passing out the equipment and we don't want to get in trouble."

"You're an **_anti-fairy_**," I heard Anti-Cosmo mumbled, "_Trouble_ should be your middle name."

In spite of myself I went and smiled at that. I wasn't too sure if he noticed or not but his friend sure seemed to be lookin' me up and down awful hard. _If I didn't know better I'd think I had myself an admirer!_

_

* * *

_

_...(Normal POV)..._

"She is a nice piece of work eh amigo?" Anti-Wandissimo whispered to his 'friend'.

Anti-Cosmo scowled and pretended to be uninterested. The truth was he too had felt that certain jolt when he had first locked eyes with the swirly haired teen. He tried to play it off as if the sensation had never happened. But something had occurred during that brief introduction. Something that kept his attention drifting back to the pink eyed young woman and his gaze shifting her way as she jumped rope by the fence.

* * *

_Amanda/Artiste:_ Ahh...love at first sight. Well...sorta. But it looks like someone else has eyes for Anti-Wanda. ;-) Next Chapter: Anti-Cosmo finds himself unable to concentrate due to a certain swirly haired temptress he met during gym. Little does he know that Anti-Wandissimo is having the same problem. Who will make the first move? And just what—if anything—is going through Anti-Wanda's head? Please review, no flames but constructive criticism is welcome. 


	3. Unexplainable Fondness:Opposites Attract

**A/N: **Once again, thanks for the reviews! The reason behind Tootie sitting with the popular kids at lunch (incase anyone was curious) will be explained in the sequel to 'Stuck Together', think of this fic as an in-between story. To answer a question: I do have a story planned involving the pixies. I even have a new pixie OC ready for it. Her profile art will be up in my gallery at deviantArt soon!

_**Double Trouble**_

Chapter Three: Unexplainable Fondness: Opposites Attract

The digital alarm clock by Timmy's bed went off at precisely 6:45 the next morning. The twelve-year-old groggily pulled the blankets over his head and blindly tried to hit the snooze button with his fist. After missing seven or eight times he growled in frustration, sat up, and chucked the annoying device across the room.

Instead of shattering when it hit the opposite wall the clock was yanked back like a boomerang when the cord (which Timmy had neglected to unplug) got pulled taut. Timmy dunked just in time. The clock hit the headboard and dropped down into the fishbowl giving both slumbering anti-fairies a shocking wake-up call.

"AAAHHHH!"

"AAAHHHH!"

Timmy was over halfway dressed when his singed and crabby anti-fairy godparents poofed out of the fishbowl and glared at him accusingly.

"Oh good, you're up." he smiled innocently, "I'm going downstairs for breakfast so you two might wanna hurry up and get ready. You _did_ promise to come with me to school today and the bus will be here in thirty minutes."

"After you went and fried us up like fish sticks?" Anti-Wanda shouted. "Why should we do you any favors?"

"Indeed," Anti-Cosmo coughed out a mouthful of smoke.

"Because if you don't..." Timmy grinned slyly, "...I might get extra miserable and then Jorgen would find out that you two aren't doing your jobs."

"Then it's slammer time!" Anti-Wanda gulped chewing on her nails.

"Oh very well!" Anti-Cosmo snapped, "But I warn you child don't think you can outsmart an evil genius like me. I have my ways of obtaining revenge you know?"

"Right," Timmy laughed. On his way out the door he called over his shoulder, "See you at the bus stop."

Anti-Wanda glared after him, "You sure that buck toothed punk ain't a threat to our escape plan?"

"Don't worry," her husband assured her, "I can assure you that everything's going according to plan."

"And just what is the plan anyway?"

"Now dearest," Anti-Cosmo eyed her reprovingly, "remember what happened the last time I told you about my brilliant escape plan?"

She paused for a moment to think, "Aw ya know I can't think on an empty stomach!"

Whipping a sandwich out of her back pocket she bit down and exclaimed in surprise, "Hey! **Grilled** cheese!"

"Yes well that happens when one's breakfast is electrocuted my love." Anti-Cosmo sighed.

She took another big bite out of the sandwich before a light bulb went off over her head (which she promptly ate), "Now I remember! You're talking 'bout that time when I went and told Jorgen that you was cleverly hidin' under that round thingy on the laundry truck!"

"It's called a hubcap dear and yes I am." Anti-Cosmo folded his arms. "So this time our top secret escape plan stays with me!"

"Fine by me sug," Anti-Wanda swallowed another mouthful of grilled cheese and tapped her noggin', "the less I gots rattlin' around in here the better!"

Anti-Cosmo couldn't help but grin, "Yes well, I suppose it does serve a better purpose as storage space for my things rather than idle thoughts."

"Yep, so how's about some a that fancy tea you likes so much?" Anti-Wanda popped her top and fished out a china plate and tea cup followed by an elegantly crafted teapot, "Careful now," she cautioned her husband as she poured him a cup, "it's hot!"

* * *

_Thirty minutes later at the bus stop..._

"This is gonna be great," Timmy could hardly wait. "Having two anti-fairies to wreak bad luck on everybody that gets in my way today is gonna be awesome! And best of all I don't even have to worry about anyone seeing you!"

"Yes you see these monitoring cuffs do a lot more than merely alert that brute Jorgen to our godparenting status. They also make us visible to the naked eye. More specifically the naked eye of the godchild we're assigned to oversee." Anti-Cosmo explained.

"Yep and unlike them slimmin' jumpsuits they makes sure that nobody else doesn't see us neither!" Anti-Wanda added proudly.

"Great! Here comes the bus!" Timmy gestured excitedly as the large yellow vehicle turned the corner and pulled up right in front of them.

Just like yesterday Timmy walked down the aisle to find Sanjay sitting in his seat. But this time he was prepared...

"Hey Sanjay ol' buddy!"

"Hi Timmy!"

"Um say," Timmy leaned in closer to whisper so the other guys wouldn't hear, "I don't know if anyone's told you but uh...this seat is haunted!"

Sanjay's eyes instantly widened in fear, "Really?"

"Yep, and they say that if you sit here a lot of weird and really bad stuff will start happening to ya."

"L-like what?"

Timmy glanced sideways at Anti-Cosmo who rolled his eyes and complied.

"Boo...fear me. I am the invisible ghost of-" _Blast, what's a common boy's name?_ "-George Smithfield!"

"AAAHH!" Sanjay pulled his knees to his chest as his teeth started to chatter wildly. "Invisible ghost!"

"What are you talking about Sanjay?" A.J. quirked an eyebrow. "Everybody knows there's no such thing as ghosts."

"Oh sure," Timmy whispered, "that's what they **want** you to think. But tell that to Gordy Smithfield!"

"That's George you dope!" Anti-Cosmo snapped.

"Whatever!" Timmy hissed.

Anti-Wanda decided she too wanted in on the prank. Snatching a bowl full of green jello from a paper bag lunch sitting on the next seat back she raised it up high over Sanjay and emptied the contents onto his head.

"AAAHHH! YUCK! I've been SLIMED!" Sanjay was in hysterics, in a flash he was up on his feet and sprinting off back to his old seat next to Elmer.

"Dude," Chester gasped, "what's up with him?"

"I don't know," Timmy shrugged, "must've been somethin' he ate."

The anti-fairies exchanged wicked glances. It seemed that the monitors only went off when they misbehaved towards their godchild. That meant that every other unsuspecting kid in the vicinity was fair game for foul play!

"Oh this will be quite amusing," Anti-Cosmo chuckled darkly.

"Just like old times," Anti-Wanda agreed.

* * *

In class Mr. Crocker chose to completely ignore the lesson plan in favor of giving another rant—ur—lecture on the existence of fairies.

"And as you can see by these calculations class," he pointed to the series of meaningless doodles he had scribbled on the board, "the boundless unexplainable phenomenons that astound our world are all obviously the work of—FaIrY GoDpArEnTs!"

A.J. yawned and went back to writing his autobiography, Chester was snoring behind his propped up text book while a river of saliva ran from his open mouth. In the back Trixie was filing her nails while Veronica applied more foundation from her compact. The rest of the class occupied themselves in a similar manner. Timmy sat eagerly anticipating what his temporary godparents would devise to livin' up this snooze fest.

Anti-Cosmo hovered up at the board stroking his chin, "No no no, these calculations are all wrong! Whatever boob qualified this man to be a teacher obviously needs their head examined!"

"Hm, they looks alright to me." Anti-Wanda remarked floating upside down beside him. "Same squiggly stuff you're always jottin' down everywheres."

Her husband sighed, "My brilliant schemes are not squiggles you twit. They're highly complex, masterfully devised blueprints for defeating our fairy adversaries!"

"Whatever," Anti-Wanda shrugged, "they still looks like hen scratch to me."

Preoccupied with his bout with his wife Anti-Cosmo failed to noticed that he was on a collision course with the pacing teacher. Timmy watched in horror as Mr. Crocker bumped into the unseen obstacle that was his temporary godfather.

"Ow!"

"Oomph!"

Crocker's eyes bulged, "Who said that?"

"Me you idiot!" a body-less voice answered, "Watch where you're going!"

"Oh my gosh!" Chester exclaimed, "Sanjay was right! This school and everything near it is haunted!"

A series of screams followed by clanging chairs and overturned desks ensued as students rapidly clambered for the door. Something akin to this had happened back in elementary school when Timmy had wished himself invisible to avoid getting pounded by Francis on Awards Day. Needless to say, he'd gotten a little carried away...

Mr. Crocker leapt in front of the mob of petrified students in an attempt to keep them from ditching his class but only got himself trampled in the process.

"Ow! Hey! You! Watch it you! Why I ought to-! That's a week's worth of detention for you pal! Aiyee! My spine!"

* * *

By the time lunch rolled around things had grown a bit calmer. Kids were still kind of edgy but a strict warning from Principal Waxelplax after their mad rush down the hall had them more afraid of suspension than ghosts at the moment.

"YO TIMMY!"

Mark once again waved his Earth pal over to their usual table.

"Who's that kid?" Anti-Wanda inquired.

"That's Mark Chang; he's an alien warrior prince from Yugopotamia." Timmy explained, "He was in love with Vicky but she chose Chip so now he's back on Earth probably still hiding from his crazy alien fiancée."

"Fascinating," Anti-Cosmo yawned, "And now that we know his life story would you mind terribly getting on with your lunch?"

The pink hatted pre teen had no more than sat down at his table when a shrill voice sang out, "Oh Timmy!"

"Not again," Timmy's pupils shrank as he whipped around to his anti-fairy godparents for assistance.

"I've got this one hon," Anti-Wanda informed her husband.

"Enjoy yourself precious." Anti-Cosmo smiled indulgently.

Going with one of the classics Anti-Wanda poofed herself up a banana and devoured everything but the peel in one gulp. She dropped the remnants in the ebony haired girl's path.

"Eep!" Tootie squeaked when her feet shot out from under her. The contents of her tray went flying back and covered the unlucky student behind her.

"YUCK!"

Timmy wore an ear-to-ear grin. _YES! This is too perfect! Tootie's disgusting cafeteria food just got dumped all over Remy Buxaplenty!_

"Sorry Remy," Tootie apologized and offered him her napkin.

"That's quite alright," he sent a glare in Timmy's direction; "something tells me _you_ had nothing to do with this Tootie."

_That's right!_ Timmy inwardly kicked himself, _Remy has a godparent too. He probably knows all about anti-fairies and the bad luck they cause! What if he even has a temporary anti-fairy godparent like me?_

"Would you like for me to be avenging you now?" a small, dark, and slender creature asked the blond boy.

"No Anti-Wandissimo, that won't be necessary." Remy replied wiping the creamed corn off his jacket, "You know how thoughtless Turner can be with his wishes. I'm sure that given the proper time he'll fall prey to his own pranks."

"Ah I see," Anti-Wandissimo smirked, "give a man enough rope-"

"Precisely," Remy smirked cunningly before following Tootie back to the popular table. _Ah Turner, so confident that you're on top. Well what you **don't **know is that before leaving for the mandatory Fairy Godparents Conference Wandissimo volunteered **me** for the reform program too! This should be an interesting week..._

"Hey looky there!" Anti-Wanda exclaimed, "It's Anti-Wandissimo!"

"Yes," Anti-Cosmo glared after his ex-rival, "it would appear that he's been assigned to a godchild as well."

"Who'd have thunk that he'd be grantin' wishes for a rich kid like that?"

"I suppose it is the one thing that's gone right in his life." Anti-Cosmo stated chidingly.

"What'cha talkin' 'bout sug?" his wife questioned, "His life's been goin' much better ever since he met up with my sister."

"Could we save the reminiscing for **_after_** school?" Timmy whispered. _Great, so Remy **does** have a temporary anti-fairy godparent. I'll have to be careful..._

_

* * *

_

The school bell rang releasing the throngs of exhausted students. Timmy could've been home free if he had gone around the other side of the building today. But instead he purposefully chose to go the route where Francis was waiting by the dumpster.

"Turner," his malicious chuckle emanated from the shadows, "back for another beating?"

"Wait Francis," Timmy showed no sign of fear as the gray bully towered over him, "before you pound the daylights outta me there's something I've always wanted to ask you."

"What's that?"

Timmy smirked, "Do you consider yourself superstitious?"

"Stupidwishus?" Francis butchered the word.

"No **superstitious**," Timmy corrected, "ya know, do you believe in bad luck and all that?"

"Heck no!" the bully proclaimed, "I ain't afraid of nothin' and bad luck's just make believe!"

"Is that so...?"

"Yeah it's so!" Francis was losing his patience, big surprise. "Now stand still so I can mash your face in."

Reaching into his pocket Timmy pulled out a shaker of salt and held it up towards the bully. Francis took one look at the object and laughed.

"What are ya gonna do Turner? Salt and pepper me to death?"

"Nope," Timmy grinned slyly when Francis slapped the shaker out of his hand spilling salt all over the sidewalk, "just gonna make a believer out of you."

Right on cue Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda swooped in and delivered an atomic wedgie for the record books to the unsuspecting bully.

Timmy left the school grounds whistling merrily to himself as his tormentor dangled from the flag pole by the rim of his underwear.

* * *

"You guys were awesome!" Timmy exclaimed flopping down in front of his TV.

"Thank you, thank you." Anti-Cosmo took a bow, "We do try our best to be our worst don't we dear?"

"You got that right," Anti-Wanda nodded, "And there ain't no better schemer than my Anti-Cosmo!"

"Oh stop," her husband blushed, "you're too much."

Turning on his game system Timmy prepared to be zombified in front of the tube for the rest of the night. Unfortunately for him his temporary godparents had other plans.

"Hey!" Timmy exclaimed when the screen suddenly went blank.

"Nuh-uh kid," Anti-Wanda twirled the power cord around in her hand, "we gots us some more bondin' to do."

"Right," Anti-Cosmo agreed, "and if I remember correctly it's my turn to continue on with the story."

"Aww..." Timmy grumbled. _I hope Cosmo and Wanda are coming back soon._

_

* * *

_

_...Flashback (Anti-Cosmo POV)..._

Try as I might to hide it I was simply smitten with Anti-Wanda ever since I first saw her on the track field that day. And it didn't help my denial that the dope Anti-Wandissimo had taken a liking to her too.

We were changing back into our regular clothes after gym when he chose to pick-up our little conversation about villainy.

"So Anti-Cosmo, we were discussing the villainy." Anti-Wandissimo smirked after most of the other students had continued on to their next class.

"You were claiming to have an interest in it." I answered indifferently, "Although I must say you strike me as more of a klutz than a criminal."

The fool displayed a sheepish grin and began to sweat profusely. "Yes well, all part of my brilliant disguise! I cannot very well have the other students catching on to my true devious nature, can I?"

I had to laugh!

"I am serious senor!" he exclaimed passionately, "I have spent many years studying the art of villainy and trained myself in the ways of a master swordsman!"

"Do tell," I grinned.

"I shall do you one better," he grinned smugly shrugging off his long black trench coat to reveal a cape and ruffled blouse. From a strap on his cummerbund he produced a long sword and waved it about grandly. "Adventure! Stealth! And honor among thieves!"

I suppose the idiot was trying to impress me with a daring bit of swordplay. However all he succeeded in doing was to embarrass himself. On the third sweeping slash he lost his grip and fumbled wildly with the weapon. I daresay that I would have been maimed had I not distanced myself from the chaos by using my wings to bat backwards a few yards.

From my safer viewpoint I watched with mild amusement as he desperately attempted to regain control of the object before giving up and letting it drop to the ground rather than risk losing a limb.

"Eheh, sometimes my sword she prefers to dance alone."

"Obviously," my one word answer said it all. He was a horrible imitation of a vigilante outlaw and he knew it.

"Alas!" he placed a hand to his forehead and threw his head back in a dramatic show of shame and misery. "With poor skills such as these is it any wonder why I am considered to be the 'black sheep' of my family?"

"I suppose not, but don't worry." I believe I snorted, "There's always a **_true_** villain around with an opening for lackeys."

To my astonishment he ceased his sobbing and stared at me wide eyed and...hopeful?

"Really?"

A split second later I was trapped in a lung crushing embrace. "Oh THANK YOU senor!" he sobbed graciously, "I had nearly given up hope that you even liked me but now I see that you were merely testing my loyalty for worthiness!"

"What the devil are you blathering on about you imbecile?" I demanded poofing myself a crowbar to pry him off.

"I accept!" he released me and saluted obediently, "As your new lackey amigo I pledge to always do my WORST!"

"My-" now it was I who looked ready to cry, "-wait a minute you dolt that's not what I-"

_RING!_

My teeth clenched. _Blast that accursed bell!_

I turned my attention back to the oaf only to find that he'd poofed away to his next class. Snarling now I did the same. I knew that moron would be trouble from the moment I first laid eyes on him!

* * *

"Okay class," Professor von Strangle greeted us, "today we shall begin our studies in the vast exciting world of biology!"

We each took a seat on a stool behind the lab stations in the room. Naturally we were paired off so that everyone had a lab partner. Our first assignment was to study some samples of microorganisms provided for us in Petri dishes. We were then to complete a series of worksheets on the creatures and clean our stations before the end of class.

_A simple enough task._ I thought.

Glancing over the questions on the worksheets I discovered that I knew most of the answers already. Still, better set up the microscope...

It was then that I brushed elbows with my swirly haired infatuation.

"Well howdy there stranger," she beamed at me.

For the first time in my life I found myself utterly speechless. I sat there wordlessly with my mouth opening and closing like some deranged halfwit while she looked about uneasily.

"Uh...you do remember me right?"

Of course I remembered her! How could I ever forget that lovely face! It would haunt my dreams from that day forward! Ah Shakespeare, now I understand the emotion that must have coursed through your veins whenever you sat down to feverously write out another tale of tragic love!

For at that moment it was painfully obvious that I—Anti-Cosmo, evil genius and scathing recluse—loved a twit!

"**_NOOOOOO!_**"

Ahem...by the time my surge of panic had passed the entire class had turned to stare at me with looks of startled curiosity.

"Feel better?" my lab partner inquired, she too regarded me as though I was a lunatic who'd just struggled out of his straightjacket.

"Anti-Cosmo," the professor called from his desk at the front of the room, "are you alright? Do you need me to write you a pass to the nurse's office?"

"I—no—ahem, I'm fine. Really, just a little...shaken up. Yes, that's all." I scrambled to collect myself and maintain what few shreds of dignity I might have left.

"I understand that the first day of high school can be rather overwhelming," the professor went on, "but I assure you that the anxiety will pass. Give it time, pace yourself, and if you should require an extension on the assignment I will be all too happy to oblige."

"I said I'm fine!" I snapped.

"Okay, sure. If you say so." He put his hands up in a gesture of submission. "Everyone back to work."

As I glared at the meddling teacher a faint cough drew my attention back to my lab partner.

"I think I knows why you're upset." She whispered, "It's on the count of me bein' stupid right?"

I raised an eyebrow, "Stupid?"

"Yeah," she graced me with a small smile, "I ain't never been all that good at school but don't worry cause I'll try. You just tell me what to do and I'll make sure to give it my best shot so you don't get a bad grade too okay?"

Another surprise, I had never wanted to wrap my arms around someone so badly! My heart was screaming for me to fling my arms around this precious angel and cuddle her fractured self esteem back to its former glory. I made up my mind right then and there. However atrocious her grades might've been before this sweet little bumpkin would excel at every assignment I had a hand in!

"Don't worry my dear, as long as **I'm** your partner your projects will all be first rate material!" I vowed.

To my delight I saw her pink eyes brighten. It was as if I could actually feel her spirits lifting when she nodded eagerly and sat to work.

"Pipette."

"Ya mean this mini-turkey bastin' thing?"

"Specimen A."

"Speci-what?"

"Glass slide."

"What d'ya think this is, a playground?"

"Look just hand me that beaker."

"Uh..."

I had my work cut out for me.

* * *

Somehow we managed to get the assignment done before the end of class. I had to admit that although she confounded me at every turn I had quite enjoyed my time working with Anti-Wanda. As often as she had given me cause to rip out my hair by the roots she'd also succeeded in making me laugh (something I didn't typically do unless it was at someone else's expense).

So it was a bittersweet parting when we went about our separate ways to third period. She had home economics while I would be attending geometry.

"Thanks for explainin' everything to me." she said a bit shyly.

"A pleasure my dear, anytime." I smiled, an actual warm **friendly** smile!

Seizing the moment I took her hand in mine and planted a short, gentleman-like kiss atop it. I was quite pleased to find her blushing and returning my smile.

"Gosh," she mumbled more to herself than to me, "I feels just like one of them fancy princess types when you do stuff like that."

"Oh really?" I could hardly believe it but there I was flirting! "Well then Anti-Wanda darling have I mentioned how much I **_adore_** your beautiful teeth?"

Her eyes bulged; clearly she had never received a compliment of this sort before. "Ya mean it? But my teeth's all crooked and-"

I shushed her by placing a finger over her lips, "Not at all, I assure you they're very alluring. We really must work on raising your self esteem. Until lunch then?"

"I guess," she blushed again and started bashfully rubbing her arm. A cute gesture, no wonder I was so taken by her.

The warning bell rang and she flew off down the hall where I spotted one of her friends waiting to poof downstairs with her.

Geometry class was all a big blur to me. The teacher rambled on about mathematical equations and geometric figures while my thoughts drifted back to my lovely little twit. With a low self esteem and naive nature she would be easy enough to coax into a relationship. Yes I was quite certain that she would be mine by the end of next week. From that moment until the lunch bell rang I was lost in my daydreams, soaring about with a sweet disposition beauty whose swirly blue hair waved in the wind.

_...End of Flashback..._

_

* * *

_

_Amanda/Artiste:_ Aww, Anti-Cosmo reluctantly realized that he'd fallen for Anti-Wanda, and Timmy had to listen to the whole thing! XD Next Chapter: Anti-Cosmo has a rival for Anti-Wanda's affection and things could get ugly fast. And if that's not enough to push the evil genius to his breaking point a couple of thugs looking for a geek to bully might just do the trick. As always, reviews would be appreciated.

Anti-Luther: Hehe, a couple of thugs huh? Gee boss that sounds like us.

Anti-Binky: Of course it's us you dummy! Geez why'd I ever let a clueless idiot like you team up with me in the first place?

Anti-Luther: Um...because I came highly recommended?

Anti-Binky: I'm beginning to doubt the authenticity of those references you gave me.

Anti-Luther: Hey my karate instructor is a highly reputable woman!

Anti-Binky: _:slaps his forehead:_ Karate instructor? I thought that was your grandma!


	4. No More Mr Nice Guy

**A/N** I appreciate all the feedback, thanks for taking the time to review! Yeah the title's not that original but hey, it does fit the fic and that's the whole point of a title anyway. Ready to meet some more Anti-Fairies? How about an OC? I don't usually put myself in my non-MIB: The Animated Series fics but in this case I made an exception. Just a secondary character to fill a role, Vice Principal Anti-Di. If you'd like to read her profile or view her picture just visit my DeviantArt gallery (link on my homepage).

Cosmo: Oh sure, stick me in a 'mandatory Fairy Conference' for the whole fic!

Wanda: Is there even such a thing? And why would we hold it once every ten years?

Me: Gimme a break here, I needed to get you two out of the way.

Cosmo: Well! I can tell when I'm not wanted!

Wanda: Right, let's get out of here sweetie and leave Ms. Insensitive to her story.

Me: You guys are taking this way too personally.

Cosmo: Where are we going?

Wanda: Somewhere that'll help cheer me up, hon.

Cosmo: _:gasps:_ You don't mean...

Wanda: Yep! Chocolate City, Utah! _:licks her lips:_

_**Double Trouble**_

Chapter Four: No More Mr. Nice Guy

"This is all very interesting," Timmy yawned, "but I'd much rather be playing Crash Nebula vs. The Planet Mashers."

"Crash who?" Anti-Wanda scratched her head.

"I believe he's referring to that confounded device by the television pumpkin," Anti-Cosmo responded. "And who cares what you'd rather be doing? In case you've forgotten we've just spent an entire day following you around and avenging you for every little mishap that occurred yesterday."

"Yeah kid," Anti-Wanda placed her hands on her hips (and Timmy could really see the resemblance between his two godmothers), "you owes us big! So button it and starts paying attention cause it's my turn to do the talkin'!"

"Oh precious," Anti-Cosmo zipped over to nuzzle his wife's cheek, "I do so enjoy it when your temper flares."

"Aw shucks," she blushed, "you know how younguns always brings out the worst in me."

Timmy shoved a finger in his mouth and gagged. _I'm not sure how much more of this mush I can take! I wish something would happen so I wouldn't have to sit through any more of this 'quality time'._

**SMASH!**

"_TWERP_!"

Blue eyes bulged. _I meant anything but that!_

The two anti-fairies barely had time to poof back into goldfish before a fiery redhead barged into the room.

"Vicky! Oh no!"

"That's right you little brat," she snapped, "Your parents are going out of town tonight so I'm in charge!"

Outside the Turners backed out of their driveway and called up to their trembling son. "Bye Timmy! We love you!"

Timmy could only watch as his parents sped away leaving him with the pink eyed terror known to all as 'Icky Vicky'.

"Now," her voice instantly changed tones, this time sugary and nice...not good, "you have two choices: either go to bed now or DO YOUR CHORES!"

"B-but it's only seven thirty!" Timmy whined, "And what chores? Mom already cleaned the kitchen and the toilets got scrubbed last weekend!"

Vicky was about to shout out an answer when a melodic voice broke in-

"Well then I guess it's on to choice number three!"

Young Turner's hopes instantly lifted when his pal Chip Skylark appeared in the doorway. "Hi Timmy!"

"CHIP!" Timmy jumped for joy. With her good natured boyfriend around Vicky was less likely to overdo it on the cruelty.

"Who's that lame, pretty boy, dork singer?" Anti-Wanda asked.

"Ugh, Chip Skylark," Anti-Cosmo rolled his eyes, "I daresay he's the most popular pop singer on the planet. Those mindless teen girls flock to him like flies to a trash heap."

"Well I can't sees why." Anti-Wanda cocked an eyebrow, "Then again that ornery girlfriend of his ain't exactly gushing all over him."

"_Chip_!" Vicky groaned, "I told you to wait downstairs while I tortured—I mean—checked up on the twerp...ur...Timmy."

"Yeah but I figured I'd come up and say 'hi'." Chip shrugged, "I mean, it's not often I get to see the little dude. What with the concert tours, TV interviews, and everything."

"Ugh, fine." Vicky relented, "He can come downstairs and eat takeout with us but after the movie he's going straight to bed!"

"Awesome," Chip agreed, flashing his bud a smile and a wink after Vicky trudged downstairs.

"I'm saved! He's the best!" Timmy beamed before following Chip downstairs.

"Well," Anti-Cosmo sighed, "it looks like our little love story is on hiatus for the time being."

"Wanna tell me about that escape plan of yours then?"

"I told you that I'm keeping it a secret!" he snapped, "The last thing I need is you blabbing the whole scheme to that dope Jorgen von Strangle like before!"

Speaking of which...

_BOOMING POOF!_

In a mushroom cloud of magical smoke the fearsome authority figure appeared. Wide eyed the anti-fairies swam inside the castle but found themselves poofed before the muscular fairy courtesy of their remote controlled restraints.

"Ah, Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda," he began gruffly, "I am here to check on your progress in successfully temping as godparents to young Timmy Turner."

"We's doin' our jobs!" Anti-Wanda stammered and hid behind her husband.

"Very good," Jorgen nodded, "because should you fail in your godparenting duties at any point-"

"Yes, yes the restraints will go off alerting you to our negligence and you'll reappear to lock us away in that blasted prison again." Anti-Cosmo folded his arms as he recited the words tiredly.

"For fifty years in solitary confinement!" Jorgen reminded him.

"And as delightful as that sounds I think we'll be sticking with the reform program."

"What he said," Anti-Wanda agreed.

Jorgen eyed the two suspiciously before his wrist watch started beeping, "Hm, I have to go. It is nearly time for my favorite soap opera 'All My Biceps' and I still have one more prisoner to check on."

In another massive mushroom cloud of smoke he was gone leaving the two anti-fairies to sigh in relief.

"That sure was a close one huh sug?"

"Indeed," Anti-Cosmo paused when the voices from downstairs filtered into the room, "it sounds like young Timothy and that Skylark fellow are having quite a wonderful time."

"Yeah," Anti-Wanda clenched her fists and added eagerly, "let's go ruin it!"

"No, no." her husband shook his head, "I'm afraid we can't do anything to jeopardize our chances of escape. So we must let them enjoy themselves...while they still can."

"Fine," Anti-Wanda pouted, "but as soon as we's gets ourselves free of these pesky things I'm a gonna give that buck toothed punk so much bad luck that he won't even spit without clutchin' a horseshoe!"

* * *

_Meanwhile at the Buxaplenty estate..._

"Ah mi but that was a close one," Anti-Wandissimo exhaled and wiped a bit of sweat from his brow.

"Nevertheless you did manage to prove to Jorgen that you're staying on your best behavior and fulfilling your duties as a temporary godparent." Remy reminded him.

"That is true," Anti-Wandissimo nodded, "but I get so nervous around the figures of authority."

"Yes well, the mask does sort of give that away."

"Ah, the mask." Anti-Wandissimo caught his reflection in the mirror of Remy's dresser and stared at himself with a sad sort of smile.

"Why do you wear that mask anyway?" Remy questioned, "It's not like your identity is a big secret. There's really no point to it."

"Oh but there is amigo." Anti-Wandissimo cast his eyes to the floor as a flood of painful, bittersweet memories engulfed him.

"Like?" Remy persisted.

"It is a tragic tale of misery, adventure, passion, betrayal, and..._love!_"

Remy took note of the emphasis his temporary godfather had placed on the last word. Clearly the mask symbolized the lasting effects of quite a substantial event in his life.

"Well Momsy and Dadsy are out smoozing at the country club so we have the rest of the evening free. Why don't you regale me with the story and satisfy that pesky bonding requirement of the program?"

"Very well," his anti-fairy godfather agreed, "I will tell you everything. Before this night is spent you shall know all about my first lady love and how I lost her to an evil foe."

With a shrug Remy pulled up a padded a stool and made himself comfortable. It looked to be a _long_ night.

Flailing his cape dramatically behind him Anti-Wandissimo drew in a large breath and began, "It all started many many years ago..."

* * *

_...Flashback (Anti-Wandissimo POV)..._

I was an exchange student at Carl Poofy Pants Anti-Fairy High when I met two individuals who would forever change my life. The first was a fellow by the name of Anti-Cosmo. Yes? You may recall that he is the counterpart of your nemesis Timmy Turner. Well he turned out to be my nemesis, only I did not know this at the time. For you see, when we first met I believed us to be comrades. Kindred spirits with a love for villainy and a low tolerance for the pointless monotony of school.

In fact it was on the day of our meeting when I first laid eyes on the beautiful Anti-Wanda. Ah my sweet young swirly haired beauty. How I loved her so! But alas! He too had fallen for her simple rustic charms. This became quite clear to me in third period that day. You see we both attended the same class: home economics.

"_Home economics!" Remy interrupted, "Why on Earth were you (a MALE) signed up for that course?"_

"_Cape mending," Anti-Wandissimo shrugged holding up a corner of his cape, "They rip quite easily in fights senor. And it can get quite costly to fix unless you learn how to repair them yourself."_

_Remy rolled his eyes, "Very well then, continue."_

As I was saying, I was delighted when I looked up to see my pink eyed senora poof into the room. She came with a friend I had seen earlier with her and the two were deep into a discussion, both speaking in hushed tones. But what grabbed my attention was the bashful smile my beloved wore and the slight tinge of deep blue that lined her cheeks. It was then that I knew—I had a rival!

Furious I sat by the sewing machine directly behind them, careful to remain unnoticed so I could learn the identity of this shameless suitor. Imagine my surprise when I heard my darling whisper the name of Anti-Cosmo, my so-called friend!

"Aw Anti-Plumey he was so sweet!" she went on, gushing over that backstabbing wretch! "He helped me out with all them high tech lab thingies and we didn't miss a single question on those worksheets neither!"

"Wow," her friend was impressed, hn I certainly was not, I could see behind his 'nice guy' routine. He was after my woman! Well, technically she wasn't my woman yet but I was determined not to lose hope!

"And that ain't even the best part," Anti-Wanda leaned forward as though she could not believe what she was about to say. "When we was leaving after the bell rang he kissed me right on the hand and said adored my teeth! Imagine that! A guy thinkin' my bad teeth is attractive! Don't that just beat all?"

"He must really like you!" Anti-Plumey replied in shock. "Think you two might go out?"

"I don't know," my darling blushed, "He did say that he would see me at lunch."

"Oh Anti-Wanda!" her friend was overjoyed, "He really DOES like you! That's so great! Your first day of high school and you might already land yourself a boyfriend!"

"Well I don't know about that," Anti-Wanda seemed uncertain of the extent of the young man's feelings. At this point I could no longer contain myself.

"Excuse me ladies," I spoke up and drew both of their attentions towards me, "I could not help but overhearing that the beautiful Anti-Wanda has obtained an admirer."

Anti-Plumey was immediately suspicious of me. "And what if she has? Are you jealous?"

"Of course not," I grinned (a bit too wickedly perhaps), "I only wished to congratulate her on earning a place on his list."

I turned to Anti-Wanda and took her delicate hands into my own, "I am sure you and the others will be very happy together."

"The others?" she raised an eyebrow.

"What others?" her friend demanded.

_Perfect. I had to commend myself on my brilliance. That traitor Anti-Cosmo might not think I possessed much skill in the ways of villainy but I would soon prove him wrong. "Why the other women that shall be accompanying you on your dates my dear."_

"What?" both girls looked aghast.

"You did not know?" I put on an air of innocence. It's a really a shame how easily I was able to pull it off. Ah the jealous hearts of females, making their tempers so easy to ignite. "My friend Anti-Cosmo, he is not what you'd call a 'one woman man'." I chuckled, "No, that is where we differ. I prefer to devote the whole of my affections towards only one female whereas he gives it away to many. Ah amigo, what a ladies' man you are. I imagine he took a particular interest in you because you came over with two such lovely ladies this morning."

I almost regretted my deception when I saw the look of disappointment that crossed my darling's face. "I-I just can't believe it. H-he seemed so nice!"

"Yes well," I tried to sound indifferent as I pinned the pattern to the fabric that had been laid out for us prior to class, "that is Anti-Cosmo for you. Pretty words and dazzling fang filled smiles. You know I too was quite taken with you but when I heard you just now talking about him so keenly I knew I had not a chance. No lady can resist his charms."

"Is that so?" Anti-Plumey had her hand on Anti-Wanda's shoulder for comfort but from her expression I could tell that she was ready to track down the unlucky anti-fairy and rip off his wings.

"Why that...that...no good, lying, two faced VARMINT!" Anti-Wanda exclaimed suddenly. She was literally shaking in anger as she ripped her fabric in half. "Sneaky lowdown snake in the grass! I'll choke him like a chicken when I finds him!"

Looking back it was quite a nasty trick I played. Lying to her so and crushing her hopes. But what I did I did out of desperation! For love you see can drive us all to very uncharacteristic madness. Even things as despicable as hurting the ones we find ourselves longing to protect.

I do not ask forgiveness for what I have done, neither do I deserve it. I merely wish for understanding. Because all that follows was a direct consequence of my thoughtless actions.

* * *

_...End of Flashback (Return to Normal POV)..._

Back at Timmy's house the movie had ended and Vicky sent him directly to bed. No fuss, no muss, she'd put her foot down so firmly that even Chip dared not protest.

"Stupid early ten o'clock bedtime." Timmy grumbled the whole way up the stairs. "She only wants me out of the way so she sit around on the couch and get all kissy with her boyfriend."

Timmy would never understand what Chip saw in her. Still he knew that the moment he was back in his room the couple downstairs would start 'making out'. They always did when they found time together (Chip from concerts and Vicky from college), he had even been unfortunate enough to walk in on it once. Now that was a scene permanently burned into the back of his retinas. What the heck was so appealing about sucking each others' faces off?

"Teenagers are gross!" he declared as he plopped down on his bed.

The goldfish sprang out of the fishbowl and assumed their true forms.

"Well it's about time child!" Anti-Cosmo huffed, "We were beginning to think you'd be down there all night!"

"No such luck," Timmy muttered still lying atop his bed with crossed arms, "Vicky sent me up here for bed so she can get all sick and mushy with Chip."

"Now there's a mental image I could've lived without," Anti-Cosmo stuck out his tongue in disgust.

"Ew, ya mean she actually kisses that nerd?" Anti-Wanda cringed, "That just ain't right!"

"Uh...yeah." Timmy kinda agreed—only—the other way around. "So I guess you guys wanna bore me with the rest of the story now huh?"

"You know if you find our little tale of suspenseful romance such a bore I could always have Anti-Wanda regale you with a retelling of her last visit to the podiatrist."

"He had to give me special ointment for this great big bunion I had on my toe!" Anti-Wanda removed her shoe and shoved her foot in Timmy's face, "He said it came from always eatin' everything with my feets. Apparently shoes ain't supposed to bend that way and it makes fiction!"

"That's **friction** love," Anti-Cosmo corrected before turning his attention back to the green faced twelve-year-old. "So what will it be Turner? Young love or de-_feet_?"

Covering his mouth Timmy relented, "Okay! Go on with the story and hold the bunions!"

"Well if you's insist." Anti-Wanda said smugly. "Ya see after me and Anti-Cosmo parted ways before third period I met up with Anti-Wandissimo again and he told me a whole mess of lies about him."

"Like what?" Timmy inquired listlessly.

"Like he was runnin' around with all these other girls and didn't really care nothin' much about me at all." Anti-Wanda visibly tensed as she continued.

* * *

We was all at lunch sittin' round one of the back tables when he showed up to meet me. You shoulda seen the look on his face when he spotted Anti-Wandissimo sittin' next to me with his arm around my shoulders a lookin' like a cat what just caught himself a canary.

"What the duce is going on here?" he shouted.

"Ah Anti-Cosmo, mi _amigo_." Anti-Wandissimo greeted him, "have you come to join us? Please, sit. I believe there is still one chair available across from myself."

Anti-Cosmo gave the fella one of the most evil stares I'd ever seen but he went and sat down.

He went on to introduce him to all the girls at the table leaving me for last. "And I believe you've already met my _girlfriend_, the beautiful Anti-Wanda."

When he said the word 'girlfriend' I just knew Anti-Cosmo was fixin' to leap over the table and claw out his eyes!

"I guess you'll just have to settle for those other girls you've been chasing." Anti-Plumey mumbled all snippy like.

Anti-Cosmo stared at her like she'd gone and sprouted a second head. "What are talking about you twit? What other girls?"

"Please," Anti-Goldie huffed, "we know all about what a ladies' man you _think_ you are."

"Anti-Wandissimo told us everything you creep!" Anti-Puff added.

"Oh he did, did he?" Anti-Cosmo glared across the table hard enough to bore holes through Anti-Wandissimo's skull.

"Ladies, please!" Anti-Wandissimo just smirked right back at him and pulled me closer. I was so mad that I couldn't even look over at Anti-Cosmo. "Anti-Cosmo may be a bit insensitive in his ways but I'm sure his intentions were good. Right senor?"

"You don't honestly believe this dope?" I could tell he was talking right at me.

"No wonder you said all those nice things about her teeth and how you wanted to help her get good grades." Anti-Plumey spoke for me, "It was all a bunch of lies to get her hopes up so she'd fall for you. You probably pull that kind of thing with all the girls who have low self esteem!"

"Even for an anti-fairy that's low," Anti-Puff shook her head all disgusted.

"Anti-Wanda!" when he shouted at me like I was some kinda dummy who couldn't tell when I was bein' lied to I guess I just snapped. My friends was right, I did have me a purty low self-esteem and nobody'd ever complimented my teeth or kissed me on the hand before. Heck, not many strangers would be a promising to help me gets good grades either! There just had to be some kinda catch to all that and I wasn't about to fall for it!

"Now you look here Mr. Knows-It-All!" I hollered, "I may be stupid but I ain't too dumb to know when somebody's tryin' to pull one over on me. All that stuff Anti-Wandissimo went and told me about you makes a heck of a lot of sense!"

"But I-"

"And just why do you like me so much anyways?" I demanded, "We hasn't even known each other a whole day and I certainly ain't nowhere near as smart as you so why pick me outta everybody else? Huh?"

By that point I'd started to cry and man I hates it when that happens! I felt so stupid (more than usual) standing there ballin' like a big ol' crybaby but gosh darnit he'd really hurt me...or at least...that's what I thought at the time.

It sure didn't help none that he was having such a hard time comin' up with an answer.

"I wasn't using you! I-" Anti-Cosmo looked like he was graspin' at straws but I just kept right on asking him why he liked me. And the more I shouted the more he stammered until he finally got fed up and got to his feet.

"I DON'T KNOW WHY OKAY?" he screamed, "I just do! But right now I'm seriously beginning to wonder why I ever allowed myself to fall for such a slow witted ditz in the first place!"

That done it, I was madder than a bull what done seen red. "You ain't nothin' but a wolf in sheep's clothing! Now I want you to get and stay away from me for good ya hear?"

I wasn't sure but I thought I saw some kinda emotion flicker up in his green eyes. I guess maybe if I wasn't so upset myself I would've caught how hurt he must've been feeling when I said that. But if he was hurtin' right then he didn't let it show.

"Very well then, have it your way." he said awful calm like before looking over at Anti-Wandissimo who'd stood up beside me to try and keep me from cryin' so much, "And as for you, don't think this is finished. You will rue the day you invoked my wrath!"

_Poof!_

_Rage!_

_

* * *

_

_...End of Flashback (Normal POV)..._

"Hey!" Timmy exclaimed sitting upright on the edge of the bed. "This is actually getting pretty good! So what happened next huh? Did you go all medieval on Anti-Wandissimo and make him eat dirt?"

"Not right away," Anti-Cosmo replied in an even tone, "no, at the time I just wanted to put as much distance between myself and Anti-Wanda as possible."

* * *

_...Flashback (Anti-Cosmo POV)..._

I stormed through the halls of the lower level. I knew they would be vacant because all students attending class there next period were currently at first lunch. There was nary a soul around to disturb me as I paced about trying to walk off some of the steam that the fight had caused.

I say 'nary' because unbeknownst to me the two brutes from that morning's amusing spectacle had just emerged from the boy's bathroom and spotted my lone figure.

"Hey Anti-Binky check it out," Anti-Luther nudged the other thug.

"Well...well...well..." Anti-Binky grinned as he and his friend came over and began circling me like wild dogs moving in for the kill. "What have we here? A lost little freshman?"

"Looks more like fresh-_meat_ if ya ask me boss," Anti-Luther snickered.

"Well I didn't ask you!" Anti-Binky snapped.

"I'm not in the mood for this," I stated trying to keep my voice steady, "I don't suppose you chaps would mind going on your way and leaving me in peace to brood?"

"Sure thing pal," Anti-Binky smirked, "Just hand over all your money and we'll let ya off with a light pounding this time."

"You must be joking." I frowned, were these two dimwitted boobs really considering accosting me? The nerve! I wasn't some mindless dope like that amateur villain Anti-Wandissimo! Ugh, that name still leaves a sour taste in my mouth.

"The joke's gonna be on you if ya don't hurry up and do what Anti-Binky says." the second thug warned me. "He ain't exactly a patient guy ya know?"

"Well that's too bad for him now isn't it?" I snapped. "Because he'll be wearing a six inch coat of dust waiting around for me to relinquish my money. Now be gone before I decide to unleash a torrent of misplaced aggression on you!"

Upon hearing this both oafs burst into fits of laughter. That sound! It mocked me, pricked at the wound that gullible female had made in my heart. As I stood there picturing the two bullies with the faces of that accursed exchange student something within in me snapped and the next thing I knew I had the first pinned against a locker while the other attempted to attack me from behind. How spineless!

How I would delight in teaching this Anti-Luther a thing or two about fighting fair (not that I endorsed it myself but if you're going to break the rules of battle you had better be well prepared to face the consequences).

I had him by the throat before he could land a punch. I found a certain wicked delight in watching his complexion change from blue to purple but my enjoyment was cut short when Anti-Binky collected himself enough to kick his heel out into my ribs.

My captive and I were sent flying back into the lockers on the opposite side of the hall. Our impressions remained after we slid down onto the floor. Anti-Binky soared in for another assault but I recovered quicker than his overweight lackey.

Seconds later we were engaged in hand-to-hand combat. Anything went and fueled by my fury I easily got the upper hand. Even when Anti-Luther staggered back to his feet and joined in the fray the two combined were having a horrid time trying to fend me off. We moved all about the hall, crashing into lockers and staggering in and out of open classroom doors. The brawl became so intense that we looked to be no more than a moving dust cloud within which you might occasionally catch a glimpse of a battered face or tensed limb.

"That's quite enough!" a feminine voice snapped so harshly that we all three froze in place.

The two elder students instantly began quivering in fear. I on the other hand remained as stone faced as ever. Although I must admit, this newcomer was quite intimidating. She was taller than most anti-fairies with her hair pulled up in a tight bun. From her business-like attire I could tell that she must be a member of the staff. It was then that I spotted the name tag just below her left shoulder 'VP'. Vice Principal?

"V-Vice Principal Anti-Di." Anti-Binky stuttered, "W-We weren't doin' nothing wrong. Honest!"

"Oh you weren't, were you?" she raised an eyebrow and I felt the lad's heart plummet. "Well we'll just see about that."

The three of us hovered there battered and panting as she took out the book she'd had tucked under her arm and began to calmly flip through the pages. "Ah here we are. Paragraph seven, under sub-section B in the chapter on the student code of conduct, page three thousand twenty-eight:

'_Fighting in the halls during lunch hour is strictly forbidden whereas it detracts from the yearly percentage of food fights in the cafeteria.'_

Tsk, tsk, you boys will never meet your quota for lunchroom mischief brawling about out here."

"We're sorry Ms. Anti-Di, really!" Anti-Luther was practically on his knees begging for mercy. What a fool! As far as I could tell we were merely being lectured. Hn, at most I expected to receive a minor 'slap on the wrist' for this sort of minor infraction on the rules. I couldn't have been more wrong...

"You three have deliberately broken one of 'Da Anti-Rules'," she stated sternly, "and that is something I simply cannot allow."

All three of us jumped back when her expression suddenly changed to one of pure evil, "I'm going to take great delight in making an example out of you."

"What are you gonna do to us?" Anti-Binky (the most fearsome bully in all of Carl Poofy Pants Anti-Fairy High) was now wailing under her intimidating gaze.

"Something that will scar you whelps emotionally and psychologically for the rest of your pathetic little lives!" she answered darkly.

Even I huddled together with the quaking bullies as we all found ourselves shrouded in her chilling shadow. The eyes behind the frames of her glasses that peered down at us were no longer deep pools of emotionless blue but flaming red orbs of doom!

* * *

"_Wow!" Timmy gasped, "So what'd she do to you? A whole year of detention? Clap a mountain of erasers? Clean graffiti off all the walls?"_

"_No," Anti-Cosmo sighed dismally, "something much **much **worse..."_

"YUCK!" Anti-Binky gagged as he removed yet another clog of something none of us wanted to think about from Principal Anti-Carl's personal toilet.

"Hurry up!" Vice Principal Di snapped, she'd been watching us like a hawk ever since we'd started the horrific task. Apparently she took great pleasure in witnessing students suffer through all her ill-devised punishments.

So there we were in the principal's private bathroom scrubbing away and fighting off waves of nausea. I swear that man must have lived off spicy nachos and jelly doughnuts to leave such filth behind!

Gobs of moldy food and used tissues lay everywhere and if it weren't for mandatory health codes I'm convinced that Anti-Di would've made us pick up every single one with **_un_**gloved hands!

"Considers yourselves lucky that mandatory health codes prevent me from forcing you to pick those up with ungloved hands!" she snapped.

_I'll say one thing for her, I mused, she does adhere strictly to 'Da Anti-Rules'._

The sights I saw that day do not bear repeating. Just know that she made good on her threat to permanently scar each of us for life. The more I scrubbed the angrier I grew. Just thinking about Anti-Wandissimo and how easily he had stolen away the rotten apple of my eye brought my blood to a boil. But now, now this! And it was all his doing, yes! It was all because of him that I had been pacing the halls and encountered these two morons! I could've been dining with Anti-Wanda and basking in the radiance of her bashful smile!

"But no!" I exclaimed aloud, "I'm stuck here with Muscles and Tiny cleaning toilets like some bloody janitor!"

"Those are 'Da Anti-Rules'," the Vice Principal spoke icily, "and you will obey them...or else!"

"But this is cruel and unusual punishment!" Anti-Luther complained as he tied yet another trash bag.

A small smile played on her pale blue face, she truly did look sinister. No wonder she was chosen for the disciplinary position of vice principal. This mysterious woman with the heart of ice seemed born for the job.

"My dear charges," she addressed us in that eerie manner which warned of impending misery, "I take the 'pal' out of vice princi_pal_. And I assure you that the next time I catch you breakin' an anti-rule I'll make you wish you could crawl into that filth bucket and HIDE THERE FOR ALL ETERNITY!"

She didn't need to say it twice, we all got the point. Mess up again and we would beg for death.

_What a charming lady. I mused dryly._

We finished our task and put away the cleaning supplies. Wherever the principal had gotten off to he'd been gone a good two hours. Apparently it was Anti-Di who truly ran the school. Anti-Carl was just a meaningless figurehead. Hn, in that aspect high school life really wasn't all that different from the real world.

"Now, GET BACK TO CLASS!"

_Poof!_

_Chicken!_

The rest of the day I spent scheming up a revenge plan against my none too chummy 'amigo' Anti-Wandissimo. Oh he would be pay for my humiliation. For I was determined that once I was finished with him **_he_** would be the one begging for death!

Clutching my pencil until it snapped in half I growled through clenched fangs, "No more Mr. Nice Guy!"

_...End of Flashback..._

_

* * *

_

_Amanda/Artiste:_ Anti-Cosmo has had it! Now the gloves are coming off and quite a few unfortunate anti-fairies have gotten on his bad side. Next Chapter: Anti-Cosmo takes his revenge! Anti-Wanda is having second thoughts and Anti-Wandissimo prepares to fight...whether he wants to or not. Please review!


	5. Spurned and Vengeful

**A/N: **Time for another chapter. A lot happens in this one so be prepared. I know it's moving kinda fast but in cartoons most 'adventures' only span a couple of days. ;) Thanks for your reviews!

_**Double Trouble**_

Chapter Five: Spurned and Vengeful

"So Anti-Cosmo blamed you for stealing the love of his life and getting him in trouble with that fiendish vice principal?" a blond twelve-year-old boy inquired as he paced about his rather large bedroom.

"Si," Anti-Wandissimo nodded, "to be fair had it not been for my deceptive actions he probably never would have run across those two malicious morons that day."

"What's with that vice principal anyway?" Remy demanded, "Even after all Wandissimo's told me about anti-fairies she sounds exceptionally devious."

"Ah yes, well it has been rumored amongst many of the students and even a few members of the staff that Vice Principal Anti-Di is not an anti-_fairy_ at all. In fact, many believe her to be an anti-**_genie_** in disguise!"

"An anti-genie?" Remy's interest was peaked, "What on Earth is that?"

"Very much like we anti-fairies, anti-genies are rather mischievous beings who seek to distort and destroy wishes." His temporary godfather explained, "There is one for every genie in existence and though they operate much more discreetly they are quite the force to be reckoned with. All powerful and free of rules."

"Why would an anti-genie be teaching in an anti-fairy high school?"

"It is suspected that the carefree life of an anti-genie was not to her liking. So she broke tradition and went off on her own in search of something more organized and rule bound. Needless to say the authoritative position of vice principal suited her needs quite well." Anti-Wandissimo continued with a sigh, "But alas, she has disguised herself so well that there is no way of proving her true identity without first obtaining her lamp. Many of the students have searched for it; to date, none have been successful."

"Well what about Anti-Cosmo then?" Remy grew bored with discussing the ill-tempered woman and changed the subject. In his opinion the anti-fairies spent far too much time obsessing over new ways to cause bad luck for others and not enough time worrying about solving their own problems. "Did he ever get his revenge on you?"

"He kept to his vow," Anti-Wandissimo nodded, "for the very next day..."

* * *

_...Flashback (Anti-Wandissimo POV)..._

You see after the goings on of the first day of school most of us thought he would drop out and return to his 'home schooled' studies. But no one was prepared for what happened that morning just minutes before the first period bell rang.

_**WHAM!**_

The bustling main hall instantly fell silent as the double doors were kicked open. A lone figure hovered there regarding the students with a fiery gaze. Many gasped, a few gulped, and I myself grew pale. For the audacious anti-fairy who pinned me directly with his crimson glare was none other than, "Anti-Cosmo?"

"Quite right, _amigo_." his fangs glistened as he twisted his mouth into a sinister snarl. "You two," he pointed towards Anti-Binky and Anti-Luther, "you're both brainless thugs but you could prove useful as lackeys."

"Hey nobody calls Anti-Binky a lackey and gets away with it!" Anti-Luther floated forward infuriated by Anti-Cosmo's boldness.

"Please, if the two of you together couldn't defeat me what makes you think you stand a chance alone?" Anti-Cosmo chided.

"What d'ya mean alone?" Anti-Luther snapped, "I ain't alone I-"

But when he turned around he realized that Anti-Binky had poofed himself on the far side of the crowd leaving him wide open for attack. I suppose he got the message, whatever the outcome of their last battle I'm sure Anti-Cosmo had the upper hand for neither dared to go a second round.

The air about Anti-Cosmo that day was eerie, thick with malice and warning of vengeful intentions. He seemed to have developed an icy grudge against the entire school. No one would be safe if they were foolish enough to cross him. I suppose it had all been too much too soon the previous day. How much could one person be expected to take before they snapped? I did feel guilty, but I was also afraid. For I knew that out of everyone, I was first on his list of loathed enemies. _What have I done?_

As he went about his tirade, giving orders in that chillingly even tone, a few did step forward to challenge him. Many were upperclassmen who thought themselves to be at an advantage. Wands were drawn (something forbidden during school hours) and a mass wand-to-wand combat ensued.

"You are all very imbecilic to think you can defeat me," Anti-Cosmo smirked as he twirled his weapon with ease, "I'm advanced beyond my years."

There were a few chuckles of disbelief here and there while others watched silently. Black magic clashed and when the mystical smoke cleared—to everyone's horror—it was Anti-Cosmo who emerged victorious.

Junior and senior class anti-fairies came away with singed clothing and broken wands. Some disintegrated and had to be swept up until they could pull themselves together, others dashed off as cats, bats, or birds. I had never seen such a fight before in my life. Was this to be my fate as well? Something told me no...mine would be far, far worse.

When the bell for class finally rang no one dared to make a move. All stood quivering under the smug gaze of the new most feared student in all of Carl Poofy Pants Anti-Fairy High.

"You would all do well to remember this," Anti-Cosmo sneered, "there is a new leader amongst you. One who is not to be questioned, one whom you should all respect and fear...or else. I have been pushed to my limits. Try it again," he paused a moment to pick up a text book lying next to one of the disintegrated upperclassmen, mercilessly he plopped it onto the poor fellow.

He did not need to elaborate further. We all got the message. A muffled groan escaped his defeated challenger from beneath the thick book on calculus. Everyone waited until after Anti-Cosmo had poofed himself away before heading to class themselves.

As for me, I lingered a bit in the hallway, dreading my impending doom. I have once heard it said that love is a battlefield. If it so then I suppose I might best have described myself as an inexperienced soldier, unarmed and outmatched. "Holy maracas, I am one dead duck!"

* * *

_Back in Timmy Turner's room..._

"Sounds like ya had 'em all shakin' in their shoes!" Timmy was finally getting hooked on the story. _Violence and vengeful plots! Now **that's** what I call entertainment!_

"Oh he had 'em scared yeller alright," Anti-Wanda nodded, "but I didn't find out about it 'til after class started on the count of I was in the gals locker room a tryin' to get that stupid combination to work! I has the darndest time remembering things, if ya can believe that."

Timmy stared up at her with half lidded eyes, "Surprisingly, I don't find that so hard to believe. So then what happened? Did you get in trouble for the wand-to-wand combat?"

"I would have Timmy," Anti-Cosmo admitted, "had it not been for the fact that I had everyone there terrified so badly that no one was willing to report the incident."

"So you totally got away with it?" Timmy blinked, "Sweet!"

"Yes well, that was just the beginning." Anti-Cosmo resumed the story.

* * *

_...Flashback (Anti-Cosmo POV)..._

By the time first period was half over everyone was abuzz with dreaded excitement. I made it a point to avoid Anti-Wanda during that class, I wasn't yet ready to face her. But when it came to the other students I didn't hesitate to scowl and toss them biting remarks.

**_Evil genius_**, they were calling me...in hushed whispers of course. Finally, some respect! I could feel the pride swelling within me. Even **I** was impressed with how quickly I had been able to turn the tables on my tormentors. Soon I would own the school (at least where the students were concerned) and I intended to run it with an iron fist. I was a rebel among my peers, the one they both admired and feared.

My tactics were not that dissimilar to those of Vice Principal Anti-Di. Mostly intimidation, psychological warfare, and when necessary a merciless show of force! Things were going quite well, and then came biology class...

First allow me to make one thing quite clear. Punctuality is among one of my more dependable qualities. On this particular occasion I _chose_ to make a rather late entrance.

I spotted her there sitting quietly at our station. She stole a glance at the empty stool and I believe I saw a small frown appear on her face. Hn, she almost looked guilty sitting there hunched over, pretending to be reading over the text in her book. But she wasn't fooling me. My absence had been noticed and it struck a chord.

_And it should you gullible tart_, my thoughts were unforgiving to say the least, _I go out of my way to help you, support you, COMPLIMENT you and how do you repay me? By flying off into the arms of that cheap imitation of a villain. It's time to see how **you** feel after being jerked around!_

"Now class, since our labs yesterday proved most successful I am happy to inform you that today we will be working with the more hazardous equipment." Professor von Strangle announced, "Highly unstable chemicals and Bunsen burners!"

There was a loud uproar from the students. Menacing smirks crossed several faces as I rolled my eyes at the sheer ignorance of these instructors. _Highly unstable chemicals and Bunsen burners? Now there's a recipe for disaster. Ah well, it will be amusing to watch these fire happy lunatics blow themselves up._

The supplies were all laid out at the teacher's station on separate trays. I intercepted Anti-Wanda when she flew up to retrieve ours. The look on her face was priceless when I brushed past her carrying the equipment and took my seat.

"Uh, you are running a bit late Anti-Cosmo," Anti-Jorgen called after me.

"I had more pressing matters to attend to." I answered flatly.

For a moment I half expected him to grow angry but instead he maintained his uncertain gaze and gave a small shrug, "Yes well these things do happen. And I did agree to be lenient with all of you for the first few days. Just try to take care of your 'pressing matters' before class okay? Or at least show up and request a pass."

Arching an eyebrow I realized he'd misinterpreted my statement to be some sort of excuse for dallying about in the bathroom. How absurd! My bowels were perfectly fine! I hadn't even eaten lunch yet!

By that time Anti-Wanda had managed to recover from her initial shock and return to our lab station. Warily she sat beside me and remained silent as I prepared to conduct the experiment.

It's difficult to describe exactly what I felt towards her then. It was all one big jumbled mix of emotions: anger, betrayal, annoyance, hurt, uncertainty, and a lingering hope that somehow I could sway her back to my side. Make her see that her dope of a boyfriend was the real enemy here, not me.

"I hope you aren't expecting me to do everything for you again today." I muttered.

Looking up at me her expression was something between confusion and indignity. "Excuse me Mr. Smarty Pants but I think I dids my fair yesterday same as you!"

"Ugh if there's anything more appalling than your misguided judgment it's your grammar." I was being exceptionally cruel today but part of me really wanted to stir up her emotions. "I mean really, you've managed to butcher the entire English language with your country slang and incorrect tenses. You use more **s**'s than a hissing snake!"

Her pink eyes bulged. She truly hadn't expected such a complete turnaround in my behavior. "Well then I guess all them rumors I've been hearin' about you are true. You're finally a showin' your true colors!"

"Perhaps so," I turned and snapped at her, "but then that seems to be the new trend around here!"

"And just what's that supposed to mean?" she challenged.

"Oh I'm sorry," my voice was very mocking then, "I shall have to use small words so as not to confuse your lima bean sized brain!"

"Simmer down!" Anti-Jorgen called, "You've got an assignment to finish!"

We lowered our voices to a whisper but continued to bicker nonetheless.

"All you cares about is yourself!" Anti-Wanda hissed, "It's just like Anti-Wandissimo said, you think I'm some stupid halfwit that you can goes and charm like all the others!"

"Anti-Wandissimo is a moronic poser," I responded, "I'd never even had the misfortune of meeting the backstabber until yesterday!"

Anti-Wanda seemed a bit surprised to hear that.

"Your grand rescuer is nothing but a conniving, spineless, manipulator. And you—my dear dupe—fell for his trickery!"

"He said you might say that," she spoke softly, as if doubting herself.

"And did he also say that I've been home schooled for the biggest part of my youth?" I demanded, "If he's a foreign exchange student how in the world could we have met? How could he have known about me? What reason have you got to trust _his_ word over **mine**?"

"There's just something awful shady about you." she mumbled after a long pause.

"While I won't deny that consider this, not all schemers are easy to spot." We locked eyes and for once I could tell that she was actually intent on hearing me out, "You can't judge a book by its cover Anti-Wanda. And you'll never get anywhere in life by listening to rumors and allowing others to make your decisions for you. Make up your own mind—if you really have one to make up—and learn how to tell a true friend from a snake in the grass."

I suppose at that moment things became a bit too serious between us. Without speaking another word we resumed work on our assignment. Anti-Wanda was silent and reflective while I was tense and unsure. Things seemed to be going so fast. One minute I was on top of the world, the next my life was spiraling out of control, and right then...I just didn't know.

_**BOOM!**_

"What in the name of pixie dust just happened?" Anti-Jorgen coughed as he rose from behind his desk to see the whole room covered in soot. In the back a huge hole had been blown in the wall. A pair of wide eyed students exchanged stunned glances.

"Oops," the first plastered on a sheepish grin.

"My bad!" the second added.

A quick scan of what remained of their station said it all. "Idiots," I muttered, "of course your wands are flammable."

* * *

It had been my intention to speak with Anti-Wanda again after class but when the bell rang I discovered she was nowhere to be found. Zipping out into the hall I hoped to find her meeting up with her annoying friend again but neither girl was there.

No matter, I practically had the entire student body under my thumb now. There was no hiding from me. Sooner or later we'd meet again. I'd made too much progress to give up now.

* * *

_...End Flashback (Normal POV)..._

"Yep, that's one thing about my Anti-Cosmo, once he sits his mind to somethin' he never gives up!" Anti-Wanda beamed proudly.

"But why didn't you just go after her then?" Timmy persisted. "I mean wouldn't it have been easy to head her off at the next class? If you had such a big crush on her why'd you let her get away?"

"Because I had bigger fish to fry." Anti-Cosmo answered. "One of which had just made the mistake of stumbling across my path right as the halls became deserted."

* * *

_...Flashback (Anti-Wandissimo POV)..._

During gym Anti-Cosmo and I had barely spoken two words to one another. Yet I knew the end was near, I could feel disaster approaching me!

It was after the warning bell for third period when I was at my locker switching out notebooks. It did not occur to me that I was now alone in the hallway with my immortal enemy.

"Well if it isn't my _dear chum_, Anti-Wandissimo," his voice cut through the air like the blade of a finely sharpened sword. "We simply must stop meeting like this."

A chill ran down my spine as I reluctantly turned to face my adversary. "Anti-Cosmo? So it has come to this then?"

"Oh don't look so surprised you dolt," his words were venomous now, "you knew exactly what you were getting into when you stole Anti-Wanda away from me!"

"Ha! Me steal?" my fury was slowly beginning to overshadow my fear, "Well I wouldn't have had to stoop so low had you not first stolen her away from me!"

"She was never yours to begin with!"

"But I wanted her to be! And you knew it!"

"She chose me!"

"You cannot call that a choice you...you...flirt!"

"Me? I'm the flirt? You manipulated her, filled her empty little head with lies about me! And all because you were jealous!"

"I did what I had to do, you left me no choice! You tempt her with pretty words the moment my back is turned and expect me not to retaliate?"

By this time we were face-to-face, snarling at one another, hunched forward with our fists clenched. "If it's a fight you wanted than congratulations you've got one! I intend to make your defeat public and so utterly humiliating that you'll be driven right out of this school for good!"

"Very well senor, I accept your challenge!"

"Good, then meet me on the track field after school. We'll settle this rivalry once and for all in front of the entire student body!"

"And to the victor goes the beautifully hideous Anti-Wanda!"

"And the loser-"

"-is banished in shame!" I finished.

"Glad we have an understanding." He smiled cockily flashing his braces and fangs. "See you at three."

"You can count on that!" I poofed myself to home economics and sat fuming at the sewing machine. I had really gotten myself in a mess this time. There was no backing down; my honor was on the line! Whatever happened I knew I would fight for my darling's affection with all that I had...it was my desperate hope that Anti-Cosmo would agree to swordplay rather than a battle of black magic.

_...End of Flashback..._

_

* * *

_

_...Flashback (Anti-Wanda's POV)..._

I have to admit that I was a little worried when I didn't see no more of Anti-Cosmo for a while. Lunch time rolled around but he never showed up. I didn't really expect him to sit with us again but I was surprised when he skipped eatin' altogether.

Anti-Wandissimo sure did look shook up. I figured Anti-Cosmo had somethin' to do with that. He was whiter than a chicken's egg as he sat there next to me with his arm draped over my shoulders, his face all twisted in this determined look like he wasn't sure what was a comin' but he wouldn't run away.

I kinda felt sorry for him. Actin' all brave like that when it was obvious his nerves were goin' crazy. Then I remembered what Anti-Cosmo had said to me earlier.

"_You can't judge a book by its cover Anti-Wanda. And you'll never get anywhere in life by listening to rumors and allowing others to make your decisions for you. Make up your own mind—if you really have one to make up—and learn how to tell a true friend from a snake in the grass."_

"Anti-Wanda my darling, what is the matter?" his voice brought me outta my thoughts. Man I sure was havin' a lot of those lately. It was startin' to give me a headache!

"Huh?"

"Your feet have barely touched your food." Anti-Wandissimo pointed out.

"Oh, uh...I'm just not real hungry right now." I murmured.

"Are you feeling okay?" Anti-Plumey asked.

"Not really," I admitted, never was good at makin' up excuses. "Ya see I was talkin' with Anti-Cosmo earlier and-"

"Anti-Cosmo?" Anti-Goldie snorted, "Why in the world would you be talking to that jerk?"

"Well he is my lab partner..."

"You should have Professor von Strangle assign you a new partner." she cut in.

"_Make up your own mind."_

Anti-Cosmo's words just kept repeatin' themselves in my head. Finally I couldn't takes no more. "I ain't takin' no advice from some frilly city girl who won't even let me talk!"

They was startled gasps from all around the table.

"Anti-Wanda," my best friend was shocked.

"Well it's true!" I snapped, "She don't even give two spits about what I think so why should I care 'bout what she says?"

"But we've all been friends for years!" Anti-Puff insisted, "We're just trying to look out for each other."

"Aw don't hand me that," I was startin' to get fed up with everybody lately. "I can make up my own mind. And I'm tired of doin' what everybody else says I should do. I gots brains!"

"And such an elegant way of articulation." Anti-Wandissimo smiled and sweatdropped.

"And you!" I whipped around on him so fast he nearly fell backwards out of his chair, "Don't think I ain't a might suspicious of you either. Just what makes you such an expert on Anti-Cosmo?"

"I thought I explained this," he was really sweatin' now, "Anti-Cosmo and I are longtime friends, amigos, partners in crime..."

"But you're one of them exchange thingies from another school!" I pointed out, "How would you have met him before if he was home schooled? And besides that, Anti-Cosmo says you two just met yesterday!"

For a moment there Anti-Wandissimo didn't have a leg to stand on.

"Well of course he'd tell you that dummy!" Anti-Goldie just had to put in her two cents. I imagine she was still steamed cause I went and told her off. "He's jealous and thinks you'll believe anything he says!"

"It ain't like we haven't all believed Anti-Wandissimo here! He ain't had no proof to back up what he's sayin' but nobody's gettin' suspicious of him!" I could hardly believe that I was standin' up to all my friends, yelling at my boyfriend, and defending the new head bully in school.

What was I thinkin'? My life was actually goin' purty well for a change. And here I was just a screwin' it all up. Heh, I guess I was bound to do it eventually. My luck never was nothin' to brag about.

"Anti-Wanda listen to yourself," Anti-Plumey pleaded, "you sound so paranoid. Anti-Wandissimo cares about you. And Anti-Cosmo is just...well there's something I don't trust about that guy."

"If you hang around him you'll probably wind up in a lot of trouble." Anti-Puff warned me, "He's a big bully and really good at black magic. I saw that fight this morning. He was casting spells that most of the seniors can't do!"

"I ain't sayin' I trust him either." I mumbled and scooted away from Anti-Wandissimo, "I just think we was a little quick to judge him, that's all."

"Ah Anti-Wanda," Anti-Wandissimo leaned over and trapped me in a great big bear hug, "you have such a big heart. It will be an honor to fight for you!"

"Huh? What are you talkin' about?"

He let me go and sat up straight in his chair. "Earlier today Anti-Cosmo approached me in the halls with a challenge."

The girls got all wide eyed and moved to the edges of their seats. I have to admit, even I was gettin' purty curious.

"A challenge?" Anti-Puff gasped.

"What kind of challenge?" Anti-Plumey asked.

"A battle for the love of my darling senorita!" He spun around and grabbed my hands up in his. "Anti-Wanda, I hope that you will come and support me today. I swear to fight with all that I have to keep you my dear. For should I lose I have agreed to leave the school in shame, never to return!"

"How romantic!" Anti-Puff sighed all dreamy like.

"She'll be there!" Anti-Goldie shouted, puttin' words in my mouth again.

"Oh thank you my darling!" Anti-Wandissimo went and squeezed the daylights outta me again. "I shall await you on the track field at three. Please do not be late. For in the heat of battle, every second counts!"

I looked over at Anti-Plumey who actually stayed purty silent. When she did look up at me her expression was kinda uneasy. Like she finally understood what I meant about people always tryin' to make decisions for me and never lettin' me make my own choices. And Anti-Wandissimo—while he seemed real keen on fightin' for my affections or whatever—wasn't none too quick to stand up for me when things was a goin' his way.

* * *

That whole day seemed like something completely outta my control. I just kinda sleep walked through it lost in my thoughts, a tryin' to figure out what I really wanted and how I was gonna make it happen.

I knows I did terrible in my other classes. If Anti-Cosmo was still around I didn't see him. Course I wasn't really payin' much attention. Alls I could think about was what Anti-Wandissimo had said about that fight after school. What kinda fight would it be? Anti-Puff said Anti-Cosmo was a real wiz with his wand. I doubted my boyfriend was even half that good.

If Anti-Wandissimo lost I guess I'd be single again. But that thought really didn't bother me as much as the queasy feelin' I got whenever I thought about the chance that Anti-Cosmo might lose. Then he'd have to go away forever in shame. And all because of me.

"I hates high school." I muttered as the bell for homeroom rang.

Gatherin' up my stuff I went out to my locker and dropped off my textbook. No need to haul an extra fifteen pounds around if I didn't have no homework due tomorrow.

When I got to homeroom I was runnin' a little late. All that mopin' I'd been doin' had me dragging my feet the whole way. I shoulda just poofed there but I felt like takin' the long way. Just needed to clear my head so I could make a dern decision!

"Hello?"

The whole room was pitch black when I got inside. There weren't no signs of anybody else bein' there...but I still had the feelin' I wasn't alone.

"Ain't they anybody here yet?"

It took me a minute or two of searchin' the walls before I finally found the light switch. The first thing I saw when the lights flickered on was the blackboard. There was a message written there in plain white words.

'Class: Had to leave early today for an appointment. Please report to Mr. O'Gimpy's room (no. 108).'

"That's awful strange," I wondered out loud, "how did she expect anybody to read that when all the lights was out?"

It was then that a mighty cold chill ran down my spine and I froze in place. Don't ask me how I knew it, I just knew...somebody was a hoverin' right behind me.

Slowly I managed to work up the nerve to turn around and see who it was. That's when I got the most fearsome shock of my life. The overhead lights in the back of the room was burnt out which left it all in shadows. And in the middle of them shadows a figure came floating out with glowing red eyes and a real disturbing smirk.

Swallowing the lump in my throat I tried to speak but couldn't get out any words. _Anti-Cosmo was hidin' in here? Waitin' in the dark all this time...for me?_

His eyes changed from red to green when the light hit his face. Still wearing that same unsettlin' grin he floated right up to me and got so we was practically nose-to-nose. "Hello Clarisse."

* * *

_Amanda/Artiste_: I couldn't resist ending it here. The chapter I mean, don't worry, there's plenty more story! ;P So long as you review. Next Chapter: It's Anti-Cosmo vs. Anti-Wandissimo with honor, enrollment, and Anti-Wanda on the line! Who will win their lady love and who will be publicly humiliated and driven from the school in shame? Find out next chatper!

Des: Okay so this is a genie-free fic?

Norm: I'm feeling a bit neglected here.

Me: You two just had a whole fic dedicated to you!

Norm: Hey hey hey! Not true! Incase you're forgetting I had to share the limelight with mini-geek.

Des: _:smacks Norm with a copy of the chapters:_ Stop picking on my lil cutie pie!

Norm: _:rubs his sore head:_ You're getting way too attached to that kid.

Des: Better than being overly detached.

Norm: You're not gonna try and turn this into some kinda therapy session are ya?

Me: _:teasingly:_ Aw c'mon Norm, let's talk about your feelings.

Des: Or lack thereof.

Norm: I refuse to get all gushy over a twelve-year-old pain the-

Me: Tsk tsk, you'll never win 'Godfather of the Year' with that attitude mister.


	6. Clash of Villains

**A/N:** Thank you so much for the reviews readers! Your kind words and patience are greatly appreciated. Now on to the next chapter! There's a little Chip/Vicky moment in this one. ;)

Anti-Blonda: Well would ya look at this. I'm in a pre-story segment! How darlin' is that?

Anti-Wanda: Hey sis! Did ya come to watch the fight?

Anti-Blonda: Fight?

Anti-Wanda: Yeah! My Anti-Cosmo's about to whoop Anti-Wandissimo clear across the track field!

Anti-Blonda: Oh my, why in the world would he do a thing like that to my poor Lemony Cakes-uh, I mean-Anti-Wandissimo? _:blushes:_

Anti-Wanda: Ain't you been payin' attention? He's been manipulatin' me the whole time on the count of he's jealous of Anti-Cosmo!

Anti-Blonda: Oh...well don't you think somebody oughtta be there to pick up the pieces incase he loses?

Anti-Wanda: I guess...but who'd wanna date Anti-Wandissimo after all the lyin' he's done?

Anti-Blonda: _:blushes again:_ I'm sure there's someone...

_**Double Trouble**_

Chapter Six: Clash of Villains

_...Flashback (Anti-Cosmo POV)..._

I spent the largest part of the day scheming a way to meet up with Anti-Wanda before the battle on the track field. Time was running out and we still had much to discuss.

Lady luck was surprisingly on my side that day. Hmph, leprechaun monarchs and their fickle ways. I was able to reach my love's homeroom class long before any of the other students arrived. A menacing smirk played about on my face as I silently stole up behind the teacher who was busy grading papers at her desk, stamping Fs and scribbling notes in her grade book. She was out cold before she even knew what hit her. I tossed the dented wand to the side and stuffed the unconscious dupe into the supply locker. Then I proceeded to take a piece of chalk and scribble a message upon the blackboard indicating that her students were to report to Mr. O'Gimpy's class instead.

I had nary a moment to reflect upon my brilliance as one by one the students poofed in, read the message, and poofed away. By the list of names in the grade book I snatched off her desk I could tell that Anti-Wanda was the only one left, perfect. Turning off the lights I floated back into the darkest corner of the classroom and waited in silence for my unsuspecting dimwit to arrive.

_POOF!_

_Ah, right on cue..._

"Hello?" she looked about dumbfounded. I could just imagine the chill running her down her spine, that strange feeling that someone was watching building up inside her.

"Ain't they anybody here yet?"

A soft chuckle nearly escaped me when she began to frantically seek out a light switch. Yes I am a sucker for dramatic tension and desperate uneasiness was practically radiating from my beloved prey!

The lights flickered on and she took note of what I'd written on the blackboard. The relief she felt at that instant was plainly written upon her pale blue face.

She made a comment to the effect of it being strange that her teacher would've left the lights off when there was a message on the board. My smirk turned into an all out sneer. My but she must've possessed a strong sixth sense for she froze in place and lingered a moment before working up the nerve to turn around. Nothing could have been more delicious than the look of sheer terror written across her face when her pink orbs locked with my crimson leer.

I floated forward from the shadows and leaned in until our noses touched. Once I had her full attention I said the first devious sentence which came to mind, "Hello Clarisse."

Her eyes widened, "Who in tarnation's Clarisse?"

Heh, I said it was the first devious sentence...not the smartest. With a mental curse I blamed my sudden dimness on the fact that my monocle wasn't in place.

"So sorry," I apologized smoothly placing it over my right eye, "can't see a thing without my monocle. Now, back to the business at hand."

I seized Anti-Wanda's hands up into my own and drew her close. "I'm sure that by now you're fully aware of the battle which will be taking place at the stroke of three?"

"Yeah," she nodded, "but I don't really sees the point of it all. I mean ain't I the one who's supposed be choosin' who I dates? Least that's what you've been tryin' to tell me, right?"

Well, she had me there.

"Correct precious, but this fight isn't only a battle for your affection." I informed her, "That dupe Anti-Wandissimo double-crossed me. He went behind my back and smeared my name, making me out to be some sort of ungentlemanly cad. For that he will pay dearly."

"So uh," the feeling of uneasiness began to sit in again, I could tell by the way she averted her gaze, "what exactly did ya want with me then?"

"A moment alone to sort out my true feelings." I explained casually. "Since the moment I first laid eyes upon you I could tell you were going to be an important part of my life. Now, whether I like it or not, you've proven yourself to be the only woman capable of capturing my fancy. So the question begs to be asked: how do you truly feel about me?"

She paused a moment and bit down on her lip. A certain nervousness began to envelop me as her pink eyes continued to avert my green ones. It was if she was searching for the answer herself. From over her shoulder I could see the clock hanging upon the wall. It was precisely two fifty-six. Four minutes away from one of the biggest duels of my life. My honor, my pride, my very enrollment, here I was laying it all on the line for a simple minded twit who plucked nimbly at my heartstrings. And yet the only thing that concerned me was my steadfast resolve to chance everything on the desperate hope that maybe-just maybe-she felt the same.

* * *

_...End of Flashback (Normal POV)..._

Downstairs at the Turners' residence (present day) Vicky sat channel surfing while Chip hummed happily to himself.

"Do you have to sing that stupid teeth song over and over?" she complained.

"I'm not singing babe, I'm humming!" he remarked cheerfully pulling her closer with his arm draped across her shoulders.

"Ugh," she rolled her eyes and turned off the television.

"The little dude sure has been quiet since ya sent him upstairs." he said absently.

"Well duh," Vicky sighed, "the little twerp's in bed asleep. Or at least he'd better be if he knows what's good for him."

"Aw but ya didn't even let him stay up to watch any late night TV shows," Chip pouted playfully, "We're supposed to be the fun babysitters lettin' him do all the stuff his parents never do when they're at home."

"_Fun?_" Vicky scoffed, "You've been watching too many corny kid movies Skylark."

With a sigh Chip sank back against the couch, "So when are the Turners coming back anyway?"

"Not for another half hour." Vicky grumbled after glancing at the VCR clock. "Ever since I started college they've had less time to go out so when I'm in town I get stuck babysitting Timmy for half the night."

"Heh, at least you'll have plenty of experience for when ya open your own daycare center." Chip observed with a laugh.

Vicky turned to glare at him but couldn't resist grinning at his goofy 'perfect toothed' smile. Instead she playfully punched him on the shoulder, "You're such a dork."

Chip's smile widened when Vicky reclined against him and started drifting off to sleep. It was moments like these that he looked forward to when he was stuck for hours in a van touring the country or sitting in a make-up chair all morning before an afternoon photo shoot. With a sigh of contentment he began humming again, this time a different song. One he'd rewritten especially for his temperamental girlfriend. Gradually his humming changed to softly sung lyrics of flawless quality.

_Hey Vicky you've got me lovesicky_

_But gettin' close to you is provin' oh so tricky..._

_

* * *

_

_...Flashback (Normal POV)..._

A dark figure poofed inside the classroom and loomed over the vacant desk in front of the blackboard, red eyes slowly dimmed to reveal two deep blue irises behind a pair of crescent moon shaped glasses. "Hm..."

Wordlessly she studied the message on the board squinting a bit as if suspicious of something.

When Mr. O'Gimpy poofed into the office perplexed by his doubly packed classroom Principal Anti-Carl had sent Vice Principal Anti-Di to investigate.

_It figures the pompous idiot couldn't drag himself out of his swirling leather chair to do it himself._ she thought bitterly.

She was determined to take out her aggression on the neglectful teacher by tracking her down and barraging her with a series of rather scathing insults...before slapping her with a pink slip and booting her out the double doors.

A muffled moan from the supply locker caught her attention. Her high heels clicked on the tile floor as she drew closer to the sound. She stopped in front of the storage locker and glared at the lock. After tossing a quick glance to either side of the room to confirm she was alone Anti-Di raised her right hand and snapped.

_GONG!_

The lock instantly opened and fell from the clasp. With a sudden jerk she threw open the doors and sneered down at the semi-conscious teacher.

"What in blue blazes hit me?"

"Precisely what I'd like to know." Anti-Di spat.

The teacher instantly bolted upright and started to tremble, "V-Vice Principal Anti-Di? Wh-What brings you h-here?"

"Are you aware that Mr. O'Gimpy is covering both his class and yours this afternoon?"

"N-No ma'am." the teacher seemed very surprised indeed. Meaning she probably hadn't been the victim of a classroom riot.

"Would you mind telling me what you were doing in a supply locker?" it may have been a question but her tone was very demanding.

"I-I don't know Ms. Anti-Di." the teacher responded nervously rubbing the tender bump on the back of her head. "The last I can remember I was sitting at my desk before homeroom grading papers and then-WHAMO!"

Anti-Di arched an eyebrow, clearly not a fan of embellished sound effects. "Whamo? That hardly helps."

When she drew back a step the light from overhead reflected off a misshapen black object lying on the floor.

"What have we here?" Anti-Di thought aloud as she examined the clue.

"It's a wand ma'am," the teacher looked stunned, "I swear Ms. Anti-Di, I don't allow the kids to play with those during school hours! It must belong to that rascal who beamed me from behind."

"Brilliant deduction Holmes," the vice principal scoffed as she tucked the evidence away into the fold of her jacket. "I suggest you pay closer attention to your surroundings-that is-if you want to keep your pathetic little job."

"Y-Yes ma'am, I'll do that." the teacher promised.

Anti-Di turned to leave intent on getting to the bottom of this deliberate violation of Da Anti-Rules, "Oh, and one more thing."

"Yes?"

In a flash the cowering teacher found herself back inside the supply locker with the lock back in place. "**_Aaahh!_**"

"Whamo indeed," Anti-Di smirked as she poofed away.

* * *

_...Flashback (Anti-Wandissimo POV)..._

I was first to arrive upon the track field mere seconds after the clock tolled three. For a moment I had a brief hope that perhaps Anti-Cosmo had lost his nerve, which would result in an automatic victory for me. But alas, my misguided joy was to be short lived. For at that very moment...

"You know for an anti-fairy who's about to have his wings ripped apart you seem awfully cheerful old chum."

"Anti-Cosmo?" I gasped and spun around to face my adversary. Little did I realize that the shock of my life awaited me. "Ah! And Anti-Wanda?"

"Howdy Anti-Wandissimo!" my beloved waved coyly with her arm interlocked with his!

"I do not believe it!" I shouted in dismay. "What...what cruel joke is this?"

"It's no joke _old friend_," Anti-Cosmo mocked me, "for once in her undermined little life Anti-Wanda has made her own choice. And she chose **me**."

"But...but...but..." I could only stammer as gasps echoed throughout the crowd of students who had gathered to watch the fight.

"So sorry old bean, better luck next time."

That was it! All I could take! The straw that broke the burro's back! Enraged by his arrogance, that smug grin plastered upon his face, and the knack he had for effortlessly upturning my whole life I drew my sword and prepared to carve out his thieving heart!

"Have at you!"

"Ah, swordplay is it?" he appeared quite amused by my choice of weaponry, "Very well, if it's an old fashioned duel you want then that's exactly what you're going to get!"

I watched as he drew his wand and transformed it into a sword. The star at the tip sprouted a handle and became the hilt while the other end stretched and narrowed to a sharp pointed blade. Truly he was a master in the art of black magic. But I would never allow myself to be bested in the skillful art of swordplay!

"Enguard!" I shouted as we both sprang forward.

Our swords clashed and clanged as we paced to and fro across the field in a heated dance of deadly steps. One wrong move from either of us could spell disaster. Yes, even now I can recall the certain thrill I received from dueling against such a formidable opponent. If only I could emerge triumphant, the entire student body would quake at my presence and the name Anti-Wandissimo would forever strike terror into the hearts of all who would hear it!

"Run him through Anti-Wandissimo!" I recognized the voice as that of my darling's friend, Anti-Goldie.

"Aw shut it ya gold digger!" Anti-Wanda snapped, "He ain't nothin' but a lyin' snake in the grass!"

Those words cut through me sharper than any knife. My darling, my black rose, my swirly haired beauty...she was no longer mine. Whatever might have been between us was forever lost in the lies and deception I had been forced to weave in order to pull her away from my debonair adversary.

My rival obviously sensed my heartbreak for he made quick use of driving the stake in deeper. "So you finally realize that you've lost eh? Well it's about time! You should've never tangled with me you dope. Now you'll pay dearly for slandering my reputation!"

"Do not think that I shall be so easily defeated you scoundrel!" I snapped back as our swords met again. "I have lost everything and it is all because of YOU!"

"Well you know what they say," he gave a mocking shrug, "'tis better to have loved and lost-"

"Keep that in mind when I pin you to the wall!" I exclaimed jabbing forward and catching him in the upper left arm.

"Oh no!" Anti-Wanda screamed from the sidelines, "Anti-Cosmo are you alright?"

"You're so fickle Anti-Wanda," Anti-Goldie scoffed with her hands upon her hips, "One minute you're fawning over the foreign exchange student and the next you're back with that brace faced nerd!"

"You stay outta this Anti-Goldie!" my darling ordered, "I ain't in no mood to be puttin' up with your big mouth!"

Anti-Goldie wasn't one to tolerate insults, "Oh yeah? Well who's gonna make me Ms. Bumpkin?"

"ME!"

For a moment the crowd's attention was drawn away from us and over to the bickering ladies where a fist had just connected with Anti-Goldie's jaw.

"Anti-Plumey?" I heard my beloved gasp.

"Hey there Anti-Wanda," her friend smiled back at her, "sorry I didn't listen to you earlier. You were right, about everything."

The smile that appeared on Anti-Wanda's face managed to soothe my aching heart for a moment. But that moment had to be brief for Anti-Cosmo had recovered from his wound and struck out slashing me across the shin.

"Take that you pathetic poser!"

I winced in pain but countered with a lightning fast swipe which trimmed a good two inches off his bangs.

We both snarled at one another as our battle raged on, intensified by our growing hatred.

"Oh my gosh!" Anti-Puff poofed into view and spotted Anti-Goldie bitterly nursing a busted lip. "What happened?"

"Hn, ask them!" Anti-Goldie pointed to Anti-Wanda and her friend, both smiling proudly and watching the fight.

"Hey?" Anti-Luther skimmed the crowd in confusion, "Where the heck did Anti-Binky get too? I can't believe he'd miss this!"

Meanwhile we battled on; it's truly astonishing how greatly adrenaline can enhance one's skills. Ten minutes had passed since we'd first drawn our swords and now our fearsome duel was nearing its end.

"Give it up senor," I chided, "while it is true you are quite skilled with a wand you are no match for a master of swordsmanship such as myself! If you had as much common sense as foolish pride you would have stuck to a duel of black magic!"

"Black magic, swordplay, chess, or dastardly schemes," Anti-Cosmo replied in that same overconfident tone that made my blood boil, "I'll always have more than enough skill to best you my foolish friend!"

"Friend? HA! The time for that has come and gone senor!"

"Then I suppose we'll just have to settle for being enemies," he smirked before twirling his sword about so quickly I could not follow his movements. The next thing I knew he had knocked the sword from my hand and sent it spiraling towards the edge of the startled crowd where it stabbed deeply into the ground.

Anti-Luther gave a girlish shriek before fainting. I cannot say that I blame him, if it come that close to my fagiggly gland I too would have reverted back to a prepubescent octave.

I turned my attention back to Anti-Cosmo who wore an ear-to-ear fang revealing grin.

"I know," I sighed in dismay, "I lose, but I do so with honor!"

"And a very telltale consolation prize." He added.

The statement puzzled me. Then I felt it, the stinging sensation which ran along the side of my left temple.

"**MY FACE!**" I exclaimed slapping a hand over the bleeding wound.

"Consider it something to remember our short-lived friendship by." he mocked me, yes, even then that villain had the audacity to MOCK me!

"My face!" I repeated again in disbelief, "My...my beautiful face!"

He had marred perfection and as much as I hated him for that and all of the many other wrongs he had done me I had to admit he was the better fighter.

To attempt revenge then would have been suicidal. No, I would have to abide by the terms of our agreement and leave Carl Poofy Pants Anti-Fairy High never again to darken its doorway with my shameful presence.

What began as a few poorly suppressed snickers soon became a torrent of thunderous laughter from the crowd. Everyone basked in my humiliation; all eyes were on me, all fingers pointing out my utter failure. And my darling Anti-Wanda...

...locked in the embrace of my villainous rival.

Deception has a heavy price my friend. And I bare mine even to this very day. For the mask you see, it is not just a scrap of fabric to cover my scar but a symbol of the shame and abject humiliation I suffered when I relied upon trickery and deceit to win a love so obviously intended to be bestowed upon another.

* * *

_...End of Flashback (Normal POV)..._

"Eloquently put Anti-Wandissimo," Remy spoke once the tale had reached its end. "It seems that Fate does not take kindly to those who seek to alter the course of destiny."

"That is good," Anti-Wandissimo perked up, whipping out a pencil and pad. "I shall have to remember to use that the next time I tell the story!"

Remy rolled his lime green eyes, "Speaking of which, now that this little trip down memory lane is over perhaps you feel prepared to help me exact a little revenge on Turner?"

"Until your fairy godfather returns senor, I am at your service." Anti-Wandissimo bowed.

"Good," Remy rubbed his hands together menacingly, "now let's show Turner that when you attempt to woo another's intended great misfortune is sure to follow..."

* * *

"So Anti-Wandissimo transferred back to his old school and never bothered you guys again?" Timmy inquired with a yawn, it was getting awfully late.

"Yes well, it wasn't as though I left him a choice." Anti-Cosmo grinned deviously.

"Oh let me tell this part sug!" Anti-Wanda volunteered eagerly.

"Very well," Anti-Cosmo nodded, "it should be enough to push him straight into dreamland."

* * *

_...Flashback (Anti-Wanda POV)..._

It wasn't two seconds after the duel done ended when the laughin' stopped and everybody froze up like deer in the headlights!

The crowd parted and we all seen Vice Principal Anti-Di a standin' there holding Anti-Binky up by his wings. He sure looked terrified! The rest of us was might scared too. But she didn't say a word, just marched straight up to the three of us in the center and glared down with them deep pools of icy darkness!

Me, Anti-Cosmo, and Anti-Wandissimo was completely covered in her chilly black shadow. Finally she twisted her mouth sideways in one of them intimidatin' sneers and barked out, "Alright you sniveling maggots, present your wands!"

Slowly we all searched our persons and came up with our wands...well, almost all of us. Anti-Cosmo was first, he took his 'sword' and transformed it back into his wand again. Anti-Di fixed her glare on me but I was ready with my wand too. That's when she stared down Anti-Wandissimo who was still a frantically searchin' for his.

"Well?" she growled.

"I-I-I am sorry Vice Principal Anti-Di!" he stammered. "I-I cannot seem to find my wand. I must have misplaced it! Perhaps it is in my locker, or-"

Ms. Anti-Di dropped Anti-Binky (who'd gone and ratted us out, the big chicken) and reached inside her jacket. Everybody cringed expectin' the worst but she just pulled out a dented up black wand and held it out in front of Anti-Wandissimo. "Or perhaps I have it right here?"

Ya shoulda seen the look of confusion on his face! It sure was priceless!

"I-I-I-"

"You, are in a lot of trouble whelp." she seethed and took out that great big copy of Da Anti-Rules. "Do you have any idea how many of these rules you've just broken?"

"What?" Anti-Wandissimo was dumbstruck. My Anti-Cosmo just smirked.

"Assaulting a teacher, disrupting class, practicing black magic unsupervised during school hours!" her tone got louder and more threatenin' like with every infraction she named.

"But I am innocent!" Anti-Wandissimo shouted.

"Oh save it," Anti-Di wasn't buyin' a word of it, "This is your wand is it not?"

"Well...uh...yes?"

"And it was found at the scene of the crime." She added menacingly, "How stupid of you to make such an amateur mistake. I'm afraid Anti-Wandissimo that your enrollment here is henceforth terminated."

"What?"

"You're EXPELLED." She clarified with a fang filled grin as she snapped the book shut.

Anti-Wandissimo's purple eyes practically bugged right outta his head! I just knew my Anti-Cosmo had something to do with that! Man what a smart trick! After all the manipulatin' my ex-boyfriend had done I almost wished I'd thought of it. No matter what the outcome of their feud out on the track field, Anti-Cosmo had made sure Anti-Wandissimo got kicked outta Carl Poofy Pants Anti-Fairy High. Now that's what I calls villainy!

"But Ms. Anti-Di, I-I was FRAMED!" Anti-Wandissimo blurted but wound up getting a size eight and a half to his backside anyways. Gotta hand it to Anti-Di, she sure got some distance bootin' him out! Why I bet she kicked him all the way back to whatever school he got exchanged from.

"And as for the rest of you slackers," she gave us all one of them dirty warning looks, "GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!"

One great big poof and the track field was cleared.

* * *

_...End of Flashback (Normal POV)..._

"ZZZZZzzzzz..."

The anti-fairies watched as Timmy lay snoozing in the middle of his bed.

"I guess I ain't lost my touch," Anti-Wanda grinned and blew on her nails.

"Now maybe we'll get some peace and quiet around here until daybreak." Anti-Cosmo sighed, "Meeting the requirements of this idiotic reform program can be most tiresome."

"Please tell me we's almost ready to make a break for it?" Anti-Wanda begged.

"Almost dear," her husband assured her, "just another day or so and we'll be home free!"

"But ain't our fairy selves gonna be back soon?"

"Yes, we'll be cutting it rather close," Anti-Cosmo admitted, "But don't worry; my plan is so ingenious that nothing can thwart it! All we have to do is keep the child happy and Jorgen will be none the wiser until it's too late."

"If you says so," Anti-Wanda used her magic to tuck Timmy in before floating over to the fishbowl with her hubby and changing forms.

Two blue-tinted goldfish splashed down into the bowl just as Mr. and Mrs. Turner pulled into the driveway.

* * *

_Amanda/Artiste:_ And another long chapter comes to a close. There's more to come so please review! Next Chapter: Remy plots to publicly humiliate Timmy the next time he makes a pass at Trixie. But since Timmy's misery could bring Jorgen von Strangle down on their heads Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda have to cross wands with their old classmate. Plus more flashbacks of the anti-couple's past, including their first date! 


	7. Painting the Town Red

_**Double Trouble**_

Chapter Seven: Painting the Town Red

A rooster's crow filtered into Timmy's bedroom window and brought along a half dozen rays of bright morning sun. One of which hit a slumbering blue-tinted goldfish right in the eye.

"Ooh..." Anti-Cosmo moaned, his monocle only intensified the shine, "I never was a blasted morning person."

He skimmed the room but found no trace of his temporary godchild. "Perfect," he grumbled as he shook his snoozing wife, "wake up dear, that little pest has wandered off already."

"Aw five more minutes Big Papa," Anti-Wanda yawned still half asleep, "It's Anti-Blonda's turn to shear them black sheep."

With a sigh Anti-Cosmo raised his wand and poofed them both downstairs in their regular forms. Luckily for them humans can't see anti-fairies (not without the help of magical goggles-or in Timmy's case-their uniforms), unluckily for the Turners' anti-fairies are all about bad luck...

Mr. Turner rounded the corner with his nose in the paper humming some annoying tune that had gotten stuck in his head. Anti-Cosmo spied his first victim.

Flashing a truly sinister smirk he magically yanked out a drawer in the stand by the staircase. Mr. Turner failed to notice until he tripped over it and wound up with a mouthful of carpet.

"TIMMY!" he shouted angrily, "How many times do I have to tell you not to leave these drawers pulled out?"

"Good one sug," Anti-Wanda beamed now fully awake. "Reminds me of the stunts we used to pull back in high school."

"Like the ones from our first date?" Anti-Cosmo leaned toward her with a knowing grin.

"Yep, we sure wreaked some havoc in those days."

"Friday 13th or not, no one was safe!"

"Oh dear!" Mrs. Turner exclaimed as she rushed over to help her husband up. "Honey you must pay more attention to where you're going. Remember what happened at the Dinkleburgs' barbeque? How you backed right into their pool?"

"Grr...Dinkleburg." Mr. Turner growled darkly.

"Hey! What's going on out here?" Timmy demanded emerging from the kitchen with a half eaten piece of toast. "You two!"

"Yes child, us." Anti-Cosmo replied curtly, "And I believe I left a wake up call for seven this morning." He took a moment to check his watch, "You're about twenty minutes late."

Ignoring the cynicism Timmy waited until his parents went into the kitchen before exclaiming, "It's not my job to wake you up on time! I'm the GODCHILD here. And you can't go around giving my dad bad luck!"

"Well what'd you expect punk?" Anti-Wanda folded her arms smugly, "We is anti-fairies after all and anti-fairies cause bad luck."

"Surely even a dupe like you must know that much by now." Anti-Cosmo taunted.

"We's even gots permits!" Anti-Wanda added proudly displaying hers.

"Well, I guess if you've got a permit." Timmy relented, "But pick on someone who's not related to me, okay? Remember, if you make me miserable-"

"You do so delight in reminding us of that don't you?" Anti-Cosmo scowled.

"TIMMY!" Mrs. Turner called, "The bus is here!"

"And don't leave any drawers hanging open on your way out!" Mr. Turner yelled.

"Well c'mon guys, let's go." Timmy motioned for his godparents to follow. They reluctantly complied and once again it was another 'interesting' bus ride to school, full of mean spirited pranks, bad luck mischief, and Timmy getting his way. But just how long would it last?

* * *

"They're coming!" Remy exclaimed from his stance by the window. "Turner will be here any minute so get ready!"

"Right," Anti-Wandissimo saluted, "you will distract his anti-fairy godparents while I see to it that his day gets off to a very rotten start."

"He's here! Now get to work!"

_POOF!_

"Nice job on turning Sanjay superstitious guys, but did ya really have to tie Elmer's shoelaces to the seat like that?" Timmy half praised, half questioned as he entered the school with his two temporary godparents in tow.

"Oh so now we're not allowed to prank your back-up friends?" Anti-Cosmo demanded. "I suppose next you'll want us to take it easy on the lunch lady?"

"No," Timmy thought back to Squid Casserole Day, "you can totally torture her."

Just down the hall a ladder stood where the janitor had been preparing to change a light bulb. From the lockers beside it Remy poked his head out just enough so that he could see the trio approaching. "That's right Turner, just a little closer. Normally I detest menial labor but in this case I'm quite willing to make an exception."

"So Principal Waxelplax how are the plans for the school fundraiser going?" a tall slender teacher with short brown hair and glasses inquired as she and her boss walked just ahead of Timmy.

"Oh wonderful!" the principal beamed, "The band's planning a bake sale and the chorus is handling refreshments, it's going to be a smashing success!"

"Oh it'll be smashing alright," Remy chuckled and shoved the ladder into the center of the hallway where the two faculty members obliviously walked right under it.

Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda froze dead in their tracks. Timmy walked on and turned the corner, unaware that his godparents weren't following him.

"Bad luck...senses...tingling!" Anti-Wanda trembled in an almost mechanical voice.

"Must...cause...MAYHEM!" Anti-Cosmo added as they simultaneously raised their wands.

_Five minutes later..._

With little over a minute to spare before the bell rang Mr. Crocker came trudging down the hall carting a stack of Fs that he'd just finished grading in his car.

When he got to the junction where his classroom awaited him round the corner he stopped and gasped at the chaotic scene before him.

The hallway was a mess, locker doors were dented in, water from an overturned mop bucket formed a series of large slippery puddles, and in the center of the madness two staff members hung in a tangled web of toilet paper and paper towels.

"Principal Waxelplax?" he arched an eyebrow.

"L-Ladder...v-very...UNLUCKY!" the brunette beside her blurted out shakily.

"Aha!" Crocker exclaimed, "This could only be the work of--**AnTi-FaIrY gOdPaReNtS!**"

Excited by the prospect of having actual fairies (sort of) in the school Crocker dashed into the janitor's closet where a lone phone booth stood, the secret entrance to _The **New** Crocker Cave_...a.k.a._ Lair Number Two._

"At last," he mumbled to himself as a chute opened below his feet and dropped him down into the secret, high tech, fairy hunting lair, "proof that my theory on the existence of menacing, bad luck bringing anti-fairies is true. Heh, they said I was crazy, they called me insane--and so what if they were right?--I'll show them, I'll show the WORLD that anti-fairies (and their free spirited, fun loving fairy counterparts) EXIST!"

Up in the classroom students exchanged weirded out glances as maniacal laughter filtered through the air vents.

"Uh-oh," Timmy sank back in his chair, "that doesn't sound good. You guys had better-" but when he turned to address his anti-fairy godparents they were nowhere in sight, "-uh...guys?"

While Timmy was busy searching the classroom for his missing godparents another anti-fairy slipped in unnoticed. "Ah, there he is." Anti-Wandissimo rubbed his hands together mischievously when he spotted the unsuspecting child. "Time to be giving this ill-behaved wisher a taste of his own bad luck."

A quick glance around the room and his purple gaze fell upon Francis, the grey toned school bully. Whipping off his cape the anti-fairy levitated one of Timmy's text books off his desk and hurled it straight into Francis as he was preparing to flick a wad of gum into Chester's hair.

"OW!" Francis yelped and rubbed his sore noggin. Angrily he flipped open the cover of the text book and saw Timmy's name. "TURNER!"

Timmy might've bolted for the door but he was so preoccupied with his search that he'd failed to notice Francis' fury. In fact now that he'd reached Trixie Tang's desk he really wasn't paying much attention to anything else.

"Hi Trixie," for a kid his age it was a typical come on, "say...you haven't been having any bad luck lately have you?"

"Hmph, only when I'm around losers like you." Trixie retorted and turned her nose up at him.

"Ole!" Anti-Wandissimo laughed and waved his cape behind Timmy like a matador as Francis charged his unsuspecting prey.

There was a loud crash just before the door swung open and Mr. Crocker stepped in. "What's going on in here? Are you brats trying to get me fired?"

Timmy moaned from his upside down position wedged in the bottom of a shelf lining the back wall.

"And now for my finishing move!" Anti-Wandissimo grinned.

_Anti-Poof!_

The ant farm sitting atop the double shelved case toppled over dumping the entire colony on Timmy who immediately started rolling around and scratching. "Oh! Ow! Eee! Ah!"

"Ah, sprinkled with ants," Anti-Wandissimo sighed, "just like my darling Anti-Blonda's infamous black itch pie."

"Turner," Mr. Crocker narrowed his eyes when Timmy came to a rolling stop at his feet, "I might've known you were the one behind this. Disrupting class and destruction of school property, that's a whole week of detention!"

"But Mr. Crocker," Tootie raised her hand to protest, "it wasn't Timmy's fault!"

"Silence!" the teacher snapped, "The next person to talk will be joining Turner in a whole MONTH of detention!"

Reluctantly Tootie lowered her hand and sighed. Mr. Crocker had always seemed to have it in for Timmy. It was best just to drop it before things got any worse.

"Oh man," Timmy cringed sulking back to his seat and scratching the tiny bites on his arms, "I could've really used some magic, where the heck did Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda get to?"

* * *

"Oh! Oh no!" Anti-Cosmo gasped from his hiding place inside the supply closet.

"What's the matter hon?" his wife asked while juggling sponges with her feet.

"Our restraints are vibrating!" he held out his shaking wrist cuffs, "That child is becoming miserable and it's alerting Jorgen that we're not doing our jobs!"

Anti-Wanda dropped the sponges and grabbed her wand, "Well c'mon! We gots to get back to that kid and fix this mess before we's wind up behind bars again!"

They poofed themselves back into the classroom two minutes too late. Timmy glared at them but didn't say a word. He was in enough trouble already.

With a quick glance in each other's direction Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda poofed themselves into doodles on the front page of a notebook Timmy had lying out.

"Psst, what's the trouble child?" Anti-Cosmo whispered.

Grinding his teeth together and looking straight ahead Timmy grabbed his pencil and wrote a response next to the doodle.

"You two disappeared and now I've got a week's detention." Anti-Wanda read aloud.

"Oh please, you can't honestly blame us for that!" Anti-Cosmo exclaimed, "What on Earth did you do?"

"I didn't do anything," Anti-Wanda read the words as he scribbled them down, "Francis got mad and tackled me and then the ant farm fell over when I hit the shelf."

"Hm...it's not like that mindless brute to attack without provocation during school hours." Anti-Cosmo muttered suspiciously.

"Aw don't sweat it Timmy," Anti-Wanda assured him, "we's here now so nothin' else can go wrong."

"Yes, now cheer up." Anti-Cosmo added, "Or you'll be godparentless."

* * *

The lunch bell rang some hours later and everyone headed for the cafeteria. Timmy was still grouchy from the mishap during first period.

"Stay close this time!" he barked to his anti-fairies, "I don't need any more bruises today."

"Relax Timmy," Anti-Cosmo replied confidently, "we're keeping a sharp lookout. Nothing shall distract us from our-"

It was happening again! Both anti-fairies froze in their tracks, their bad luck senses tingling. Someone was pushing their luck...and it was time to lose!

Timmy continued on into the crowded lunchroom while Anti-Cosmo and his wife zipped into the teachers' lounge.

"Oh dear!" Principal Waxelplax was grimly assessing the damage to the tile floor. "So many cracks! It's like someone tried bouncing a bowling ball through here!"

"Or ran through on a jackhammer before school started." Remy snickered from his hiding place in the cabinets below the microwave.

The anti-fairies regarded the scene with wide eyes and drooling mouths. The entire room was a breeding ground for bad luck! Think of all the broken backs!

An evil smile spread over their pale blue faces as each whipped out a jumbo sized mallet. The slender brunette from before had just walked in followed by a handful of other unfortunate teachers. The poor saps had no idea what they were in for. With each step they landed on another crack...so many backs to break, so little time.

* * *

Back in the cafeteria Timmy was trying to score some extra brownie points with Trixie by offering to carry her things to the popular table when she walked through the double doors.

"Hey Trixie! Want me to carry your stuff?"

"Uh, no." Trixie gestured toward Veronica with her thumb, "That's what I have her for."

Tootie stood on the other side of Trixie and glared at her sourly. She obviously disapproved of the way Trixie always bossed her best friend around and treated her like a servant.

"Okay then, um..." Timmy wracked his brain for something else to offer. "...want me to do your homework?"

"Ha! With your grades?" she laughed.

"Uh...want me to have AJ do your homework?"

"Take a hike loser!" Veronica snapped.

The girls shoved their way past him, well Trixie and Veronica did. Tootie walked around and tossed him an apologetic look over her shoulder.

"Or better yet," Anti-Wandissimo smirked as he gestured toward a stack of chairs with his wand, "have a seat!"

"Yo Turner! Lookout!" Mark spotted the stack of chairs toppling towards his friend just as he was coming out of the lunch line. In a split second he dropped his tray and dove for Timmy. He managed to shove his pal out of the way just in time.

"Mark!" Timmy shouted to his disguised alien classmate when he heard the chairs clatter behind them. "You totally saved me!"

"Ah it was no big deal bro," Mark shrugged and brushed off his knees. "You'd have like done the same for me and all."

"Sorry about your lunch." Timmy mumbled an apology when he saw Mark's food on the floor.

"Are you kidding? Dude this like totally makes it taste even better!" Mark was on all fours eating off the floor, "Heh, the roaches and unidentifiable droppings here make it crunchy on the outside and chewy on the inside!"

"Oh Timmy!" Trixie did a complete one-eighty and rushed to his side, "Are you alright? You could've been seriously injured!"

"Too bad," Tad scoffed.

"Yeah," Chad agreed, "one less dork to geek up the lunchroom."

"Hey man are you alright?" Chester and AJ had just rushed over too.

"Mark Chang, you are my new hero!" Sanjay exclaimed, the rest of the students cheered but Mark didn't take much notice, he was too engrossed in his gross meal.

"Uh-oh," Anti-Wandissimo winced, "my godchild, he will not be too happy about this."

* * *

"I do believe that was the most painfully devastating thing I've ever seen." Remy felt his own spine ache after witnessing the torture the teachers had just endured.

Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda sat panting on the mini-fridge in the corner.

"That sure was fun huh?" Anti-Wanda asked.

"Indeed it was," Anti-Cosmo nodded, "it's not often we're presented with an opportunity to cause that much chaos."

"Not since our first date anyway." Anti-Wanda recalled.

"Oh yes," Anti-Cosmo chuckled, joining her in the flashback, "those were truly good times."

* * *

_...Flashback (Normal POV)..._

"Come now Anti-Wanda or we'll be late." a young Anti-Cosmo persisted.

"Late for what?" Anti-Wanda demanded, "Anti-Wandissimo ain't been gone two weeks and here we are already a goin' out on our first date. Dang if I know what you gots planned."

Anti-Cosmo grinned in amusement as he watched his girlfriend study her attire skeptically and eye the brushes and buckets of red paint as if they were wild animals that might spring to life and bite her.

"I still don't get why we've gotta haul all this along on our first date Anti-Cozzie hon." she sighed in bafflement.

"That's why they call it 'painting the town red' Anti-Wanda my sweet."

"That sounds an awful lot like chores." she frowned.

"Oh no, I assure you it will all be entirely fun."

"Well...if you's say so."

The pair snuck past an unknown hole in the barrier that night and soared through Fairy World coating everything in bright red: benches, billboards, sidewalks, windows, houses, little old ladies...

By the time dawn arrived nothing was left unmarked. Phrases like "FAIRIES STINK" and "DOWN WITH DA RULES!" were everywhere.

"MY HOUSE!" screamed the infuriated fairy drill sergeant Jorgen von Strangle. "WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS!"

"W-Well sir," a timid fairy soldier poofed next to him and held out some photos, "the security cameras around the Anti-Fairy Zone managed to snap these shots of the suspects sometime during the night."

Jorgen snatched the photos and glared at the image of the two anti-fairies. "I want their faces on wanted posters plastered all over town! The next time these delinquents sneak out of the Anti-Fairy Zone I'll have them thrown into fairy jail for at least ten thousand years!"

"B-But isn't punishment of anti-fairy escapees left up to the head of discipline in Anti-Fairy World sir?" the soldier ventured to ask.

"NOT so long as they are apprehended in OUR world!" Jorgen snapped. "NOW GET TO IT!"

"Y-Yes sir!" the soldier saluted and poofed away post haste.

"Hmph, that overdressed snooty anti-fairy and his swirly haired bad toothed girlfriend, will soon know the awesome power of my mighty muscles!"

* * *

_...End Flashback (Normal POV)..._

"Not again!" Anti-Wanda panicked when her monitoring cuffs started to vibrate but before Anti-Cosmo could utter a word the vibrations ceased.

"That was odd." Anti-Cosmo examined his cuffs closely, "must have been a glitch or something."

"We'd better get back to that pink hatted fella anyway." Anti-Wanda fretted, "I ain't got a good feelin' about this."

No sooner had they poofed out of the room of groaning teachers than Anti-Wandissimo poofed in.

"Senor!" he exclaimed.

"What happened?" Remy demanded emerging from his hiding place thankful that the teachers were in too much pain to notice. "Why isn't Turner miserable and godparentless?"

"Well you see..." Anti-Wandissimo began to nervously fiddle with his wand, "...there were a few problems."

"What problems?" Remy arched an eyebrow.

"Perhaps I should show you?"

They poofed into the cafeteria and Remy's jaw nearly hit the floor.

"Poor Timmy, show me where it hurts." Trixie was fussing over Timmy who was sitting in HIS spot at the popular table.

"Well it kinda aches here, and here, and here, and..." Timmy pointed to his knees, elbows, and even his chin as Trixie kissed her fingers and patted the 'boo-boos'.

Tootie and Veronica sat at the edge of the table rolling their eyes while Tad and Chad sat across from them glaring daggers at Timmy.

"Wh-What is going on here?" Remy shouted as he stormed over to his girlfriend, "And what is this simpleton doing in MY seat?"

"Oh Remy, he was nearly crushed under a stack of heavy metal chairs!" Trixie exclaimed still patting Timmy's head, "Isn't that just terrible?"

"Luckily that cute foreign kid with all the weird customs was there to shove him out of the way." Veronica stated halfheartedly and pointed to Mark Chang who was contently dining off the floor.

"Grr..." Remy was practically boiling over with rage. How could everything have gone so wrong? "And just where am I supposed to sit?"

"Don't worry Remy ol' buddy," Timmy grinned, "I'm sure there's still plenty of room over at _my_ regular table."

Remy cringed when he saw that the only available seat left was next to the creepy boil kid. _This day just went from bad to worse._

Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda returned to the lunchroom a few seconds after Remy and his anti-fairy godparent.

"That makes what? Five times in the last week that you've lost that ridiculous earring?" Anti-Cosmo exclaimed. "I'm tired of having to constantly retrace our steps! Just wear another pair with backs that fit!"

"I likes these pair!" Anti-Wanda shouted back while putting the earring back on. "They was a gift from Lil Mama!"

"You know you'd probably lose your crown if it wasn't stuck floating above your head!"

"So what if I keeps forgettin' it's there! It ain't like it's in plain sight!"

"Just once would it kill you to have a moment of WITTY banter?" Anti-Cosmo threw his arms in the air in exasperation.

His wife was about to snap back when she spotted someone familiar hovering behind the rich blond kid. "Hey look, ain't that Anti-Wandissimo?"

"Don't try to change the sub-" Anti-Cosmo paused and glanced over his shoulder. "Why I do believe you're right, for once. It IS our old chum."

"He ain't noticed us yet." Anti-Wanda observed, "Ya reckon he's in the reform program too?"

"I'd wager he is," her husband nodded, "and I'd also wager that he's the one behind the bouts of misery our godchild's been having today."

"Why that sneaky varmint!" Anti-Wanda seethed, "He's gonna get us thrown back in jail!"

"I think not," Anti-Cosmo took aim at his old foe (who had his back towards them) and sent a blast of black magic his way.

* * *

To be continued... 


	8. The Bluesome Twosome

_Amanda/Artiste: _I know, I know... I've been ridiculously slow in updating this story. Sorry but I wanted to wait until some motivation struck. Then I realized, heh, I already had pretty much this entire chapter ready to post. *cringe* But if you kindhearted readers will agree to spare me I can go ahead and tell ya that there's only about three chapters left. Good news is I've got the ending all worked out. Bad news is...I'm having difficulty finding time to type out all my notes. Still, the story MUST go on! (And on and on and on...)

_**Double Trouble**_

Chapter Eight: The Bluesome Twosome

"GAH!"

The startled anti-fairy fell instantly to the surprise attack.

"And that was just a warning shot, you ignorant boob!" Anti-Cosmo shouted to the black caped being pushing himself off the floor.

A pair of purple eyes widened at the sound of that voice—_his_ voice!

"So…" Anti-Wandissimo narrowed his eyes and turned to glare over his shoulder, "we meet again, _amigo_."

"What're you talkin' about?" Anti-Wanda floated forward waving her arms. "We sees each other almost every time me and my Anti-Cosmo goes to visit my sister!"

Anti-Cosmo sighed while his rival slapped his face in frustration, "It's called 'being dramatic', dear, and it makes for a more suspenseful fight scene. So just…play along. Alright?"

"Okie dokie!" the twit nodded, clueless as ever.

"Hello?" Anti-Wandissimo tapped his foot impatiently. "Can we stop with the talking for now and get on with the climatic battle of evil vs.—err—_eviler_!"

"Is that even a word?" Anti-Wanda blinked.

"Oh keep your poofy shirt on , you dolt! You'll get your defeat!"

"And speakin' of _de feet_," Anti-Wanda smiled toothily and raised her wand, "it's time for my post-noon snack! Yippee! I always did likes to munch on a peanut butter and sardine sammich while watchin' a fight."

The two anti-fairy opponents readied their wands and prepared to charge each other when Timmy raced in between them. "STOP!"

Anti-Cosmo skidded to a midair halt and glared at him angrily. "Oh what _is_ it, child?! Can't you see I'm about to thrash this boob?!"

"You two can't fight in the middle of the cafeteria!" the twelve-year-old exclaimed.

"And why not?" his temporary godfather huffed, "It's not like anyone can see us!"

To prove his point Anti-Cosmo floated over to Chester and rapped him on the head with his wand.

"OW!" the blond exclaimed, first annoyed and then confused when he couldn't spot the culprit. "Hey…who did that?" Teal eyes widened fearfully, "Oh no! It's the curse of that kid with the G-name again! The school's still haunted! AAAHHH!!!"

Timmy watched with half-lidded eyes as his friends fled their table screaming like lunatics. "Okay, so you've got a point there. But you still can't have a battle in here! It's too dangerous! You can still cause damage and someone might get hurt!"

"Oh spare me your incessant whining, Timmy." Anti-Cosmo rolled his eyes, "If it'll shut your trap we'll take our duel outside."

One _Anti-Poof! _later the three bad luck creatures were gone.

"Turner!" Timmy spun around to see his rich rival approaching. "What's going on?! Where's my temporary godfather?"

"Wait a minute," blue eyes widened, "you've got an anti-fairy godparent too?"

"Well of course I do, urchin." Remy gestured to himself snootily, "I'm the _upper_ crust, and I possess the magic of money! So naturally_ I_ would have anything you have, including your privileges—only **better**!"

Timmy's brow furrowed, "Oh yeah?! Well _I've_ got** two** and-! No wait! We don't have time for this! We've gotta get out there and stop our temporary godparents from fighting each other or Jorgen might show up and lock them away in prison…again!"

"No!" Remy gasped, "Then we'd be godparentless!"

Timmy was already halfway to the door when he paused to wave for Remy to follow, "C'mon!"

*****

_Meanwhile…_

The three anti-fairies arrived on the front lawn of the school wearing identical smirks of malice.

"Choose your weapon, señor." Anti-Wandissimo called as he reached for the one he had strapped to his side, "As for me, I will be using my trusty sword!"

"Then you're even more dimwitted than I thought!" Anti-Cosmo chided and drew his wand.

Anti-Wandissimo's smirk grew sly, "Do not underestimate me, for over the millennia I too have perfected my techniques. You are strong señor, but years upon years of training for this day have made me a MASTER swordsman!"

"Too bad it was all for naught!" his unfazed opponent grinned wickedly, "In case you've forgotten _**I**_ am the most powerful being in all of Anti-Fairy World!"

Anti-Wanda took another bite of her sandwich as the tip of her husband's wand flashed yellow in a surge of magic.

Her one-time boyfriend stood cringing in place with his eyes shut tight. After several seconds of nothing happening he chanced a peak. "Ha! You missed!"

But Anti-Cosmo was far from dismayed. "Oh I think **not**, old _friend_."

_Anti-Poof!_

_Jailbird!_

His opponent coughed and swatted at the blue smoke encircling him. When he locked eyes with Anti-Cosmo again he was shocked to find that he had to do so—through the bars of a _CAGE_?!

"What?! What is going on here?" he floated about in a panic only to find himself repeatedly bouncing off enchanted metal bars in the tiny enclosure.

A bout of evil laughter drew his attention to Anti-Cosmo. "Allow me to introduce you to—the FUN BOX!"

Purple eyes widened in terror.

"Oo! Oo!" Anti-Wanda (who had just finished the last half of her sandwich in one gulp) waved excitedly on the sidelines, "I knows this one! Can I? Can I, sug?!"

Anti-Cosmo nodded obligingly and made a sweeping gesture toward his captive. "Take it away, my dim beloved!"

His swirly haired wife zipped over to where Anti-Wandissimo remained trapped and started singing:

"_Fun Box! Ohs Fun Box!_

_Small an' square an' dark!_

_Fun Box! Ohs Fun Box!_

_Checks out these cool Fun Locks! Yeehaw!"_

"Oh bravo! Bravo!" Anti-Cosmo applauded as she finished her song by piling a heap of heavy metal locks onto the cage.

"Aw shucks," Anti-Wanda blushed. "T'weren't nothin'."

"Anti-Wandissimo?!"

The couple turned to see the spoiled, rich child rushing out the double doors in search of his godfather. Behind him their own charge followed, "Hey Remy! Wait up!" Timmy panted. "I thought you said walking was for _poor_ people?!"

"Desperate times call for desperate measures, Turner!" Remy declared.

"Ah, so the brats finally arrive." Anti-Cosmo remarked. "And just in time to _miss_ all the action!"

"Anti-Wandissimo!" Remy cried when he spotted his caged godfather. "What have they done to you?!"

"Nothing worse than what that brute Jorgen will do to him once he discovers he's been neglecting his duties and hauls him back to the fairy '_hoosegow'_."

"It is not true!" the black haired anti-fairy exclaimed as his eye began to twitch. "There was…_singing_!"

"Ahahahaha! Yes indeed!" the evil genius cackled. "And now Timmy, we must return you to your lessons and leave my victory celebration for after school."

"Cuz we don't want Jorgen to come and drag us back to jail!" Anti-Wanda chimed in.

"Exactly." Anti-Cosmo floated after his wife and temporary godchild, calling back over his shoulder, "Later, old bean! Perhaps next time we do battle you'll be able to present me with an actual _**challenge**_! Ahahahaha!!!"

With his hands clutching the bars as though they were wrapped around a certain anti-fairy's neck Anti-Wandissimo growled darkly and watched their retreating forms. Suddenly his anger dissipated, only to be replaced by a mischievous smirk. "So Anti-Cosmo, you believe that_ you_ are the most powerful being in all of Anti-Fairy World? Well, allow me to prove you **wrong**!"

"Right _after _we call a good locksmith." Remy sighed.

*****

After school Timmy started off for home with his anti-fairy godparents.

"Ya know," he spoke up during the walk, "I have to admit, for a couple of troublemaking bad luck pests you two have been pretty good godparents. A lot better than Jeff."

"Who's Jeff?" Anti-Wanda blinked.

"Oh I quite agree with you Timmy." Anti-Cosmo zipped down flashing a congenial grin. "This experience hasn't been nearly as _excruciatingly _tedious or _unbearably _idiotic as I'd anticipated."

Anti-Wanda grunted, "Did ya forget about the part where we gots fried up like fish sticks?"

Her husband was quick to slap a hand over her mouth. "Oh yes! Ahaha! Quite amusing really. Yes, I can look back on it fondly now and laugh. Ha. Ha. See?!"

Timmy arched an eyebrow at his godfather's new creepily cheerful attitude. "Yeah...whatever."

The conversation ceased until they reached the privacy of Timmy's room. Exhausted from another grueling, yet somewhat atypical, day of school the twelve-year-old flopped down on his bed and stared at the ceiling. "I guess all those times you disappeared today had something to do with Remy and Anti-Wandissimo, right?"

"You got it!" his godmother chirped.

"What can we say Timmy," Anti-Cosmo shrugged, "where bad luck goes we must follow!"

"Or vice-versa!"

"Oh very good, my deli delicacy!" he applauded her correct usage and pronunciation of the term. "You astound me yet again with your trek from idiocy to below average intelligence!"

"Huh?"

Anti-Cosmo sighed while Timmy snickered. "It's a slow process."

The sudden sound of pecking at his window made Timmy jump. "Hey! It's that owl that delivered the high school reunion invitation to Cosmo and Wanda!"

He opened the window and took the envelope from its talons. "Sorry dude, no leprechauns."

The two anti-fairies watched in confusion as the delivery bird flew off in a huff.

"Well, that was unusual."

"What'cha got there?" Anti-Wanda questioned.

"I dunno," Timmy tore open the envelope and pulled out something that looked suspiciously like a report card. "Huh? What's_ this_?"

"Oh no!" Anti-Cosmo gasped and snatched the paper away, "It's our progress report!"

"Your what?"

"Our rehabilitation progress report!" the evil genius snapped while his wife floated over to peek.

"Hey! Accordin' to this thing we's almost met our bonding requirement!"

Timmy stared blankly, "That's good, right?"

"Yes, but we're way below in wish-granting," Anti-Cosmo warned, "and that's bad!"

"Oh. Um...oops?"

"_Oops_ indeed," he crossed his arms and glared at Turner in aggravation. "If we don't meet every requirement in the program we won't be able to escape a return trip to jail. So step it up with those wishes child. We have to meet that quota!"

"Okay, okay!" Timmy waved his hands to signal everyone to stay calm. "How much longer do we have?"

His godfather skimmed the fine print at the bottom of the report. "According to this, progress reports are given at the midway point of the program. Which means we only have a few days left to heighten our scores."

"And our goody-good doubles are gonna be back from that conference thingy soon!" Anti-Wanda reminded them.

"Right, well first thing's first. Timmy-"

The godchild turned his attention back to Anti-Cosmo.

"-we're going to finish up the last of that stupid bonding requirement. _Then _we can move on to the wishing!"

"Aw," Turner's shoulders drooped, "I was afraid you were gonna say that."

The anti-fairy ignored him as he tried to find his place in the story. "Now let's see, we've already discussed our first meeting, my short rivalry with Anti-Wandissimo, and the climatic battle that ended with my inevitable and utterly certain VICTORY..."

"And how I wound up goin' back to your side!" Anti-Wanda added.

"Quite right," her husband smirked. "Why not cap it off with the story of our first kiss?"

Timmy's face turned a sickly shade of green. "Bleck!"

_SPLAT!_

The anti-fairies nearly blew chunks of their own before Anti-Cosmo managed to poof the mess away.

"Do try to refrain from barfing like a pregnant fairy." he shuddered. "We're godparents not janitors."

"Then why don't _you_ try to come up with something a little less nauseating to talk about? Huh??" Timmy countered. "This lovey dovey stuff is just—sick!"

"Well what do ya wanna hear about then?" his godmother demanded.

Timmy tapped a finger to his chin for a moment in thought. "Hm...well, if you guys _have_ to ramble on about your pasts, why don't you tell me about something more exciting?"

"Exciting?" Anti-Cosmo repeated blandly.

"Yeah! Something with lots of action and suspense! Like in the movies!"

The two anti-fairies exchanged a long look. Finally, Anti-Cosmo spoke, "I suppose we could do that."

"Oo! Tell him about the time we had to go on the run cuz Jorgen made us Public Enemies Number One!"

Timmy sported a buck-toothed smile. "That sounds promising."

"Very well," his godfather consented, "after all, it _is_ a **thrilling** story."

*****

…_Flashback (Anti-Cosmo POV)..._

It happened not long after our graduation from Carl Poofy Pants Anti-Fairy High. We left the cap and gown ceremony with diplomas in our hands and mischief in our hearts!

Anti-Wanda and I had been causing a fair amount of trouble in Fairy World since we began dating our freshman year. Of course over time our pranks had become more outlandish and we had grown daring in our choice of targets.

_"He means the way we kept playin' tricks on ol' Jorgen von Strangle!"_

Indeed! The big buffoon became a favorite of ours. His booming reactions were always fun to watch (from a safe distance of course) and the way the veins would protrude from his neck was sheer hilarity!

Unfortunately, we were soon to find out that there was a price to pay for launching our antics against the lead authority of Fairy World (under the Fairy Council).

As I said, Anti-Wanda and I had just graduated high school and we decided to celebrate by performing an invigorating **montage** of pranks against our _old friend _Jorgen.

First we snuck through the boundary which separates Fairy World from ours. You know it as: The Anti-Fairy Zone. Of course Jorgen had long since located and sealed the hole we'd been using but, being an evil genius, it was still a simple enough obstacle for me to overcome.

_"We's waited til shift change!"_

_"Ahem!"_

We began by camping outside his house with a ladder meticulously placed in front of the door. Sure enough, when the big dope came out for his afternoon drills (after watching, of all things, _soaps_) he stepped right into our trap!

_"You kicked off your big scheme by tricking Jorgen into walking under a ladder?"_

_"Of course child! We are __**anti-fairies **__after all! And it's bad luck!"_

_"Really tasty bad luck! Mm-mm!"_

Jorgen took a few steps out the front door when his eyes shot open in realization. Whipping around he spotted the ladder and furrowed his brow angrily. "Darn it!"

My beloved and I snickered from the cloud we were using as cover.

_"Get it? Cloud. Cover. Cloud cover! Ahahaha!"_

_"I don't get it, sug."_

_"I do, but it's lame."_

_"Hmph! Well pardon me for trying to add a bit of witty humor to this tale!"_

Anyway, we snickered in anticipation of the hothead blowing his top when...

"Those painters forgot to clean up their equipment again!" he shook his fist in misdirected irritation. "I shall have to remind them by sending it back with an angry letter—of PAIN!"

My jaw dropped.

"What in tarnation just happened?" Anti-Wanda exclaimed beside me.

"It would appear that we have to step up our game, dearest. But don't worry, I have the perfect plan!"

Raising my wand I poofed up a slippery puddle by Jorgen's feet.

He took a step forward, slipped "AAAHHHH!!", and fell!

_**CRASH!**_

Priceless! Not only did the boob land flat on his back, probably cracking that thick skull of his, but his fall created a series of cracks all along the sidewalk too!

"Oooh," the once five-star fairy general sat up and rubbed the back of his head, "what a headache. That was very bad luck."

When the severity of the situation finally dawned on him his pupils shrank to pinpricks. Anti-Wanda and I quite enjoyed watching the muscular brute stand on tiptoe and glance fearfully at the hundreds of cracks surrounding him.

"Oh no!" he gasped, "I must avoid stepping on these cracks at all cost! Or something terrible will happy to my mommy!!"

While it was entertaining to watch the self-proclaimed 'toughest fairy in the universe' step daintily around the sea of cracks our thirst for bad luck was far from quenched.

"Watch this, Anti-Wanda. I'm going to give that pea brained narcissist the scare of his life!"

_Anti-Poof!_

_Arachnophobia!_

Blue eyes warily shifted toward the source of the noise. There, right over his shoulder, a large black spider lowered itself from a cloud overhead and waved one of its eight hairy appendages.

Of all the sounds I've ever heard the buffoon make, the most alarming of all (and my personal favorite) was:

"**EEEEE!!!**"

The oaf backed away so hastily that he wound up tripping over his shoelaces!

_THUD!_

_"And I bet he landed right on all those cracks you had him make."_

_"Good guess Timmy! Indeed he did! And it took him less than a second to realize it!"_

"GAH! The cracks! Bad luck! MOMMY?!"

Anti-Wanda and I were in stitches by then!

"Oh that was a good one, hon!" she praised between bouts of laughter. "And ol' Mama von Strangle's probably achin' from the neck down after that mess a bad luck just now."

"Ha! And I'm just getting warmed up!"

To make a long, _hilariously_ **evil **story short, Jorgen panicked and tried to race to his mother's house on foot only to be mauled by a pack of black cats!

_"They was angry on the count of Anti-Cozzie went and poofed up a rain cloud to get 'em all wet just before Jorgen crossed paths with 'em!"_

Then, once he got there, he came barging through the door spilling an industrial sized container of salt as big as an oil barrel!

_"Put in place by yours truly while Anti-Cozzie was a poofin' up that rain cloud!"_

And to top it all off, when he went to charge into the living room to pull his injured mother off the floor—he wound up smacking into a giant, wall-sized mirror by mistake! AHAHAHA!!

_"It broke up into a gillion pieces!"_

_"What about Jorgen's mom?"_

_"Oh she was lying in the living room alright. Quite in pain and calling out for help-"_

"HELP! I've fallen and I can't get up!"

_"-but her little Jorgy was in no position to help."_

"Oooww..." a deep voice moaned painfully from the kitchen.

_"My Anti-Cosmo sure can cook up a mean dish a bad luck when he gets a goin'!"_

_"Oh man, haha, I bet Jorgen was ticked."_

_"You might say that..."_

"GARGH!!!" he popped out of the pile of broken glass sporting cuts, bruises, gashes, and cat hair. "WHEN I FIND THE PERSON WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS HORRENDOUS STREAK OF BAD LUCK I'M HAVING—I WILL** CRUSH **THEM INTO PIXIE DUST!!"

"Ahahahahahahahaha!!"

In retrospect, perhaps laughing out loud while floating in the doorway to Mother von Strangle's house _wasn't _such a good idea.

"YOU TWO!!"

Naturally, we gasped.

"Uh-oh!" my wide-eyed beloved exclaimed, no doubt noting the infuriated expression on our red-faced target, "The jig's up! We better run for it!"

We flew off in a panic with Jorgen right on our heels!

"PUNY ANTI-FAIRIES!" the brute exclaimed while raising his wand like a dumbbell on the front stoop. "NO MATTER WHERE YOU GO, NO MATTER HOW FAR YOU FLY, I WILL FIND YOU AND IMPRISON YOU BOTH—**FOREVER**!!"

"Ha! You'll have to catch us first!" I called back as Anti-Wanda and I zoomed up into the sky.

_Anti-Poof!_

_Clean Getaway!_

*****

…_End Flashback (Normal POV)..._

"Anti-Cosmo, Anti-Wanda," Jorgen narrowed his eyes and stared off in the direction of Anti-Fairy World as his dramatic close-up began, "from this moment on, consider yourselves the most wanted couple in Fairy World!"

*****

"And from that moment on," Anti-Wanda boasted, "we became the most popular couple in Anti-Fairy World!"

"But you ticked off Jorgen," Timmy pointed out.

"True," Anti-Cosmo agreed, "and he sent every fairy soldier at his disposal after us."

"And he offered a big reward to anybody that could catch us and bring us in!"

"Even anti-fairies can be bought." Anti-Cosmo explained matter-of-factly. "So we had to be on guard. For our next mischievous act could be our last!"

"So what'd you do?"

"The only thing we could do," Anti-Wanda informed her godchild, "HIDE!"

*****

…_Flashback (Anti-Wanda POV)..._

With that jarhead on our tails we had to lay low and keep dunkin' and dartin' deeper an' deeper into Anti-Fairy World. There was wanted posters of us a posted up EVERYWHERE!

I was all in a panic and relyin' on Anti-Cosmo to figure a way outta the mess we was in. "What'll we do, sug?"

"We'll have to find somewhere to hide until this whole mess blows over."

"But where?!"

He propped his hands on his hips in that know-it-all pose he likes to strike whenever he's explainin' somethin' to folks what he thinks is dumber than he is...which is pretty much everybody. "Well we can't hide out at **my** house! After years of home schooling my mother's eager enough to be rid of me. Imagine if she finds out there's a REWARD!"

"Hm, I guess we could go hide at my folks' ranch. They're not likely to go a turnin' us in. And you can meets my little sister too!"

Anti-Cosmo looked a might less excited about the idea than I was. "Very well, dearest. For the sake of our freedom I'll," he cringed like he'd just eaten a bad ear o' corn, "meet your parents."

________________________________________________________________________

To be continued...


End file.
